Magazine

A dad looking confused at a pregnancy tracking app on his phone

The truth about baby bump timelines and why apps lie to you

I was standing in our kitchen holding a retractable Stanley tape measure against my wife's stomach, trying to log exactly how many centimeters her abdomen had grown since the previous Tuesday. She looked down at me like I was trying...

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Exhausted father staring at a baby name book while holding a cup of lukewarm tea.

The Absurd Quest for Baby Boy Names Unique Enough Not to Be Steve

My mother-in-law cornered me by the kettle at week twelve of the pregnancy to insist that strong, traditional English names like Arthur or George were the only guaranteed way to prevent a child from a life of petty criminality, while...

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A dad holding his baby looking confused at an iPad playing an 80s movie.

Why the Three Men and a Baby Cast Lied to Us About Fatherhood

It was 3:14 AM, my 11-month-old son was attached to a bottle, and the glowing screen of my iPad was illuminating my deeply exhausted face. I was watching an 80s comedy classic to stay awake, watching Tom Selleck hold a...

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Exhausted dad sitting in the dark holding a crying baby while looking at a smartphone

System Meltdown: A Clueless Dad's Guide to Surviving Colic in Babies

I was bouncing on a half-inflated yoga ball at 140 beats per minute, frantically whispering "shhh" while my five-week-old son screamed so aggressively his face looked like a boiled lobster. My Apple Watch buzzed to congratulate me on my intense...

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A tired dad looking at his swaddled newborn baby making a strange face.

What's That Supposed to Be About Baby? Decoding Newborn Quirks

I was holding my iPhone flashlight over my daughter's bassinet at 3:14 AM, trying to see if her tongue was vibrating. She was making this rapid-fire clicking sound that sounded exactly like a dying hard drive. I had my other...

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Confused dad looking at a fledgling bird in the grass while holding a baby

What to Do When Your Toddler Finds a Baby Bird in the Backyard

I'm currently crouched in the damp Portland mud, holding my 11-month-old by the back of his diaper like a defective briefcase, while we both stare at a violently vibrating clump of feathers in the grass. It looks like a moldy...

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A tired father inspecting a baby cot mattress with a flashlight.

What Finding Baby Bed Bugs at 3 AM Actually Does to a Parent

The glow of my phone screen at 3:14 AM illuminated what I can only describe as a tiny, malevolent sesame seed crawling across Maya's fitted sheet. I had only come into the nursery because she had done that specific, high-pitched...

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A dad trying to put a long sleeve organic cotton romper on a squirming baby boy

Debugging The Complete System Failure Of Dressing A Baby Boy

I'm currently staring at a pair of dark wash, rigid denim jeans in size 9-12 months. My son is actively executing a perfect alligator death roll on the changing pad, and I'm supposed to somehow force his chaotic, rapidly expanding...

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Why the happy baby pose saved my structurally ruined spine

When my lower back finally gave out, I received three distinct pieces of advice from three very different people. My mother-in-law told me I needed to sleep on a plank of pine wood because that’s what her uncle did in...

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