The Silksong Crying Infant Noise Explained For Exhausted Parents
It's 2:14 AM. I'm standing in the hallway in my boxer briefs, holding a lukewarm bottle of formula, desperately trying to isolate the audio source of a shrieking infant. The problem? Our actual eleven-month-old son is fast asleep in his...
Surviving Twins With The Skip Hop Baby Activity Center
My mother-in-law arrived on a rainy Tuesday bearing a gift she had unearthed from the darkest, most spider-infested corners of her loft: a wheeled infant walker from 1996. It was a faded neon monstrosity with the turning radius of a...
Surviving the Messy Truth of the Suki Waterhouse Baby Era
I was exactly four days postpartum with my oldest, wedged awkwardly between the toilet and the bathtub in my rural Texas house, trying to angle my phone so the giant hospital-grade pad wouldn't show in the mirror. I had seen...
Why I Finally Understand the Upscale Baby Department Hype
I'm standing in the middle of a brightly lit American department store, holding a miniature cashmere cardigan that costs more than my first car, trying to calculate exactly how long it'll take a six-month-old to cover it in pureed carrots....
Is the Nanit Pro Smart Baby Monitor Actually Worth the Price?
People love to tell you that dropping four hundred dollars on a high-tech camera is going to instantly cure your postpartum anxiety, but they're lying to your face. I bought into that myth completely with my oldest. Bless his heart,...
The Clinical Truth About Momcozy Carriers and Hip Geometry
The wind coming off Lake Michigan was zero degrees, and I was standing in the Target parking lot on Clybourn trying to figure out a plastic buckle. My three-month-old was screaming in the backseat. I had just pulled him from...
The Truth About Raising Mega Babies When Standard Gear Fails You
I was standing in the fluorescent-lit hospital room, still completely numb from the waist down, watching my husband try to wrestle our firstborn into a "newborn" sized coming-home outfit that we had paid entirely too much for on Etsy. My...
Dear Past Priya: The Truth About Social Security Baby Names
Listen. You're sitting in the sweltering heat of the Target parking lot on Elston Avenue, crying into a lukewarm chai because an influencer just named her kid the exact moniker you've been hoarding for eight months. I know you're devastated....
My Sorry Baby Trailer Disasters & The Toxic Y2K Baby T Trend
I'm standing in our cracked concrete driveway sweating completely through my favorite target t-shirt while trying to shove a supposedly perfectly-sized bicycle helmet onto a screaming ten-month-old who's actively stiff-boarding his body like a plank of wood. Dear past Jess...