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Why most baby rings belong in the trash and the gear you actually need
I was scrolling social media at two in the morning while nursing a furious six-month-old when I saw it. A literal infant floating in a bathtub with an inflatable plastic inner tube strapped around his neck. The caption said something...
The Great Puree Glitch: Debugging Dinnertime
The ceiling of my Subaru Crosstrek currently has a modern art installation made entirely of organic sweet potato and turkey puree. I was driving down Interstate 84. My 11-month-old son, Leo, was screaming in the back seat. The temperature was...
The Truth About That Cute Baby Milo Keychain (And My Mom Guilt)
It was a random Tuesday in October, like, 2018 maybe? Maya was about seven months old, and we were sitting outside this aggressively hip coffee shop in Brooklynβthe kind where a basic iced oat milk latte costs seven dollars and...
Why finding baby formula without seed oils is driving me crazy
I was sitting on my kitchen floor at 3 AM wearing my husband's college sweatpants that have a literal hole in the crotch, aggressively Googling fat blends while Maya screamed from her bassinet in the other room. I had a...
Finding The Best Baby Dragon Decks Without Losing Your Sanity
I'm staring at a Β£14.99 charge on my Monzo app while Molly, the slightly more destructive of my two-year-old twins, attempts to post a half-eaten rice cake into the PlayStation disc drive. The bank charge simply says "Supercell," which sounds...
Decoding the Baby's Breath Flower Meaning (And Why I Panicked)
I was standing in our kitchen at 3:14 AM, wearing sweatpants that hadn't been washed since Tuesday, staring at a massive glass vase on our island. We had just brought Maya home from the hospital three days prior. The vase...
The Real Truth About Distilled and Purified Water for Baby Formula
It was 3:17 AM, and I was standing in my kitchen in nothing but an oversized t-shirt and postpartum mesh underwear, staring dead-eyed at a pot of boiling tap water. My oldestβwho's now five and serves almost entirely as a...
RealCare Baby Simulators: The Brutal Truth About How They Work
I found it wedged between a moldy juice box and a soccer cleat in the back of my sister's Honda Odyssey. A stiff, heavy, unblinking plastic infant. My sixteen-year-old niece was slouched in the passenger seat, staring at it with...
Why Learning Pretty Little Baby Chords Beats Playing Mozart
Three years ago, I was sitting on my cheap living room rug, sweating through my nursing tank top, frantically trying to sync a Bluetooth speaker to a twelve-hour Spotify playlist called "Mozart For Genius Brain Development." My oldest son, the...