Pinkfong Baby Shark: How to Survive the Doo-Doo-Doo Toddler Phase
I was wedged between a fifty-pound sack of flour and my bulk box of paper towels in the pantry, stress-eating a handful of stale Goldfish crackers, while the muffled sound of "doo doo doo doo doo doo" echoed through the...
The Great Arch Support Myth and Stride Rite Baby Shoes
The lady in the shoe shop was looking at me with a mixture of pity and mild alarm. I was kneeling on the carpet, wrestling with Twin A's left foot, trying to compress what looked like a perfectly round, dimpled...
What Pediatric Nurses Actually Think About Your Bitty Baby Doll
I was working the Tuesday afternoon shift at the clinic when a panicked mother brought in her eighteen-month-old and a heavy, suspiciously damp cloth doll. The waiting room was already packed with the usual winter crud, but this case stood...
The Absolute Chaos of Raising Twins and a Baby German Shepherd
I'm currently watching a forty-pound creature with ears the size of satellite dishes attempt to herd my two-year-old daughters into the downstairs loo. The creature, a dog who seems entirely unaware that he's not currently employed on a farm in...
The Truth About Buying A Baby G-Shock Watch For Your Kid
It was exactly 3:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the middle of my kitchen wearing yoga pants with a highly questionable yogurt stain on the knee, desperately trying to saw through a thick pink resin watch...
The ugly truth about buying your toddler a baby doll stroller
There was a tiny pool of blood on my hardwood floor. Not a catastrophic amount, just enough to make my old hospital triage instincts override my standard maternal panic. Maya was on her back, screaming, holding a split lip. Tangled...
So Your Toddler Brought a Live Baby Crow Into the Kitchen
Beau was standing in the middle of my kitchen holding what looked like a dusty, highly aggressive potato. Dirt was falling onto my freshly swept linoleum, our golden retriever was losing his absolute mind by the back door, and an...
Found A Baby Bobcat In Your Yard? Read This First
My husband came through the back door holding a dirty garden towel. He looked weirdly proud of himself. Inside the towel was a hissing, spotted furball about the size of a baked potato. He told me he saved a stray...
My Foolproof Baby Back Ribs Recipe for Very Exhausted Parents
It's 5:14 PM on a Thursday and I'm standing in my kitchen wearing a stained gray sweatshirt I haven't washed since Tuesday, staring at a massive slab of raw pork while Leo, who's four and currently believes he's a velociraptor,...