Magazine

Tired mom scrolling her phone looking up movie showtimes for kids.

When You Google 'Sorry Baby' Showtimes Looking for Toddler Entertai...

It was 6:43 PM on a Tuesday, which in this house we affectionately refer to as the witching hour, and my oldest had just colored the dog’s tail with a blue Sharpie. I was elbows-deep in a sink full of...

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Dad researching the Skai Jackson baby drama while holding a sleeping infant

The Skai Jackson Baby Drama: A Dad's Take on Postpartum Stress

My mom told me to just keep the vibes good around our newborn to prevent her from becoming a fussy toddler. My wife's postpartum doula gently suggested that negative maternal energy literally alters an infant's cellular structure in real-time. And...

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Tired Portland dad soothing his crying ruka baby monster with a plush toy

The Ruka Baby Monster Error: Troubleshooting 2 AM Meltdowns

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, raining sideways against our Portland apartment windows, and I was actively bleeding from my left collarbone. My 11-month-old daughter had bypassed crying entirely and escalated straight to physical violence. I was holding her...

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A tired dad holding a sick baby wrapped in a squirrel print organic cotton blanket in a dimly lit nursery.

The Midnight Whistle: Surviving The RS Virus With Twin Babies

It was a Tuesday, precisely 3:14 AM, and Florence was making a noise that sounded suspiciously like a broken penny whistle trapped inside a damp accordion. I was standing in the dark of the nursery, wearing a t-shirt stained with...

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A chaotic living room floor covered in toddler toys and half-eaten rice cakes

Rihanna A AP Rocky Third Baby: The Madness of Three Under Four

It was 7:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was attempting to pry a half-sucked rice cake from the iron grip of twin A, while twin B was vigorously trying to feed a wet wipe to the cat. My phone...

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A stressed mom holding a coffee while her toddler dances in a grocery store aisle

When Your Kid Starts Singing Rich Baby Daddy Lyrics

If you want to know how to handle a four-year-old screaming the rich baby daddy lyrics at the very top of his lungs in the middle of Trader Joe's, I've three distinctly different pieces of advice for you. My mother...

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Exhausted British twin dad holding a wooden baby gym in a messy living room

How to Be a Rich Baby Daddy Without Actually Having Any Money

I'm standing in a painfully well-lit Marylebone baby boutique at eleven in the morning on a Tuesday, holding a Β£400 self-rocking bassinet, while one of my two-year-old twins actively attempts to eat a display shoe. The sales assistant is looking...

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Exhausted mom staring at a budget spreadsheet on her laptop while drinking coffee.

Dear Past Me: Surviving The Ramsey Baby Steps With Kids

Dear Sarah from last October, It's 11:42 PM on a Tuesday and you're sitting on the sticky kitchen linoleum right in front of the dishwasher. You're wearing those black yoga pants with the dried yogurt stain on the left knee,...

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Tired dad holding a crying 11-month-old baby while looking at a laptop screen

Troubleshooting The Baby Come Back Phase Without Losing Your Mind

2:14 PM. Portland is doing that misty drizzle thing outside where it's not quite raining but you still get entirely wet. I've stepped exactly 3.4 feet away from the playmat to grab my lukewarm coffee from the side table. I...

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