Magazine

Two messy toddlers covered in pink melon juice sitting on a kitchen floor

How A Sugar Baby Watermelon Defeated Me And My Twin Toddlers

If you ever find yourself wondering whether a standard kitchen sponge is abrasive enough to remove dried fruit pulp from a matte-painted wall, let me save you a frantic Google search. It isn't. You need a dedicated scraper and a...

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A wooden convertible crib next to a half-empty coffee cup in a messy nursery.

The absolute hell of buying baby furniture (and what to buy)

It was 2017, I was twenty-four weeks pregnant with Maya, and I was sitting cross-legged on the linoleum floor of a massive warehouse store crying into a half-empty iced oat milk latte. I was wearing these atrocious grey Target maternity...

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A very tired dad staring blankly at a wall of infant milk cans in a grocery store aisle.

The Great Formula Panics: What I Learned About Feeding My Kid

It was 4:12 AM, I was holding a screaming, thrashing newborn, and my laptop screen was glowing in the dark with a massive spreadsheet titled Formula_Matrix_v4_FINAL.xlsx. My wife walked into the kitchen, looked at the screen, looked at my bloodshot...

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Mom kneeling by a baby bath tub holding a wet, crying newborn wrapped in a towel

The Completely Honest Survival Guide to Your First Baby Bath

I was sitting on the freezing cold hex tiles of our master bathroom, wearing a nursing bra that smelled strongly of sour milk, crying. It was 2017, Leo was exactly eight days old, and my husband Dave was holding him...

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Wooden baby gym and organic cotton bodysuit in a nursery

Why the jennifer lawrence baby name choice makes so much sense

My mother-in-law told me to pick a heavy traditional Indian name to honor our ancestors. The charge nurse on the pediatric floor told me to invent something completely new so there wouldn't be five of them in kindergarten. The tired...

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Twin toddlers sitting on the floor looking confused at a smartphone screen

The Midnight Google Search for Baby Metal That Broke My Brain

It was roughly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, a time of night when the human brain is largely just a puddle of lukewarm porridge, and I was pinned beneath Maya, the heavier of the twins, who had recently decided that...

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Confused mom holding coffee mug looking at smartphone screen

The day I thought a rap star was a Scandinavian stroller

Tuesday, 4:15 PM. The rain is violently attacking our living room windows and I'm wearing a pair of black maternity leggings that haven't seen the inside of a washing machine since the Obama administration. I'm holding my third lukewarm coffee...

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A tired mom holding a chubby cheeked baby while drinking coffee.

What No One Tells You About Your Newborn's Literal Baby Face

It was 2016, and I was sitting on my incredibly disgusting beige couch at 3 AM. I was seven months pregnant with Maya, wearing a pair of maternity leggings that had a questionable hole in the crotch, and I was...

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A confused dad tangled in a long piece of soft fabric trying to figure out a baby carrier.

Solly Baby Wrap Setup: A Dad's Guide to Not Dropping the Kid

It was raining, because it's always raining in Portland, and I was standing next to my Subaru holding a screaming eight-pound potato while seventeen feet of buttery soft fabric aggressively soaked up a puddle of dirty rainwater. My wife watched...

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