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Decoding the Knitted Romper: A Dad's Guide to Baby Hardware
My mother-in-law cornered me in the kitchen last Tuesday to declare that any kind of woven wool would immediately give the baby a full-body rash. Ten minutes later, my neighborβa guy who brews his own kombucha in a garageβleaned over...
Debugging the Base Layer: A Dadβs Guide to Bodysuit Blanks
Before my son was born, I received three distinct pieces of base-layer advice that completely crashed my internal logic board. My mother insisted I needed to wrap the baby in three layers of fleece because our Portland house is drafty....
Why My First Baby Cardigan Knitting Pattern Was A Total Disaster
We were somewhere between Waco and Austin on I-35 when the screaming reached a pitch I didn't even know a human vocal cord could produce. I made my husband pull the truck over into a Buc-ee's parking lot, scrambled into...
The great fluffy lie (and why I started googling babywolle kaufen)
The parcel arrived on a wet Tuesday, smelling faintly of lavender and aggressively good intentions. Great Aunt Muriel had knitted the twins matching cardigans. I pulled the first one out of the tissue paper and immediately realised we had a...
Why Japanese Newborn Clothes Actually Save Your Sanity With A Baby
Let me tell you the biggest lie the baby industry ever sold us: that newborns need to wear actual outfits. I'm talking about miniature denim overalls, stiff corduroy suspender sets, and tiny button-down flannels. With my oldest, bless his heart,...
Dear Past Tom: Put Down the Plastic and Get Organic Cotton Bibs
Dear Tom of October last year. You're currently standing at the kitchen sink at 2:14 AM. You're furiously scrubbing a bright orange, polyurethane-coated dribble catcher with an old toothbrush, wondering why it smells faintly of a wet dog that has...
Dear Past Me: The Brutal Truth About Wrapping Babies in Cotton
Dear Tom of twenty-four months ago, It's currently Tuesday evening, and you're standing in the nursery of our flat in Zone 3, staring at a stack of twenty-four identical white squares of fabric your mother-in-law just dropped off. You're holding...
LΓ€tzchen Frottee: A letter to my past self about solid foods
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the kitchen floor wiping sweet potato puree off the baseboards with a dried-out baby wipe while your son cries because he rubbed it into his left eyebrow. You think this...
Debugging Baby Clothes: The Infant Long Sleeve Romper Upgrade
6:14 AM. Portland is doing that gray, misty drizzle thing it does for nine months of the year. My 11-month-old is currently trying to pull himself up on the edge of the living room coffee table. He is wearing a...