Dear Past Me: The Dreamland Baby Sleep Sack Is A Terrible Bug Fix
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, You're sitting in the glider chair right now, aren't you? It's 3:17 AM in Portland, the rain is aggressively smacking against the nursery window, and you're staring at your phone screen with the...
Reality TV Sleep Advice vs. Rural Texas Parenting (62 chars)
I was three hours into a late-night doom scroll, balancing a sour-smelling burp cloth on my shoulder, when I dropped my phone flat on my face. I was reading some pop culture gossip trying to figure out if Sparkle Megan...
Dad-Tested Home Remedies for a Teething Baby Waking Up at Night
It's 3:14 AM and I'm standing in the kitchen holding a partially frozen blueberry mini bagel. The baby monitor on the counter looks like a jagged red soundwave of pure agony. The bagel is currently defrosting and dripping a sticky...
How Do You Make A Baby Thrive When You're Running On Fumes
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of the laundry room, eating a stale granola bar you found in your maternity jeans, while the breast pump makes that horrific wheezing sound and your four-month-old screams...
Exactly How Long Does RSV Last in Babies? A Dad's Viral Data Log
My mother-in-law texted me at 6 AM asking, "how is the babi doing?" because she stubbornly refuses to use autocorrect on her iPad. Two hours later, the barista at my local coffee shop confidently informed me that respiratory viruses are...
The honest guide on how to sleep train a baby (without losing it)
It's 2:14 AM. I'm sitting on the top stair of our narrow London terrace, clutching a cold, profoundly sad crumpet, aggressively watching the timer on my phone tick down from five minutes. From behind the closed nursery door, Florence is...
Surviving the twin daycare drop-off without crying in your car
It's 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm holding a solitary blue Wellington boot. Florence is currently wearing the other boot on her left hand, aggressively smearing Greek yogurt into the kitchen tiles, while Matilda is completely naked from the...
Britney Spears Hit Me Baby One More Time: A Dad's Sleep Hack
Dear Marcus from six months ago. It's 3:14 AM, you're currently standing by the changing table in the dark, and you're holding a five-month-old who's screaming at a frequency that's definitely violating several local Portland noise ordinances. You have tried...
Why the True Story of Brenda's Got A Baby Changed My Parenting
It was 3:14 AM. I know the exact time because I track every single one of my son's sleep disturbances in a spreadsheet, like some sort of deranged data analyst trying to find a pattern in pure chaos. I was...