Magazine
Decoding European Baby Sizes: Why Centimeters Finally Make Sense
Standing in our dim nursery at two in the morning, I was holding two different bodysuits up to the moonlight. One was a legacy American brand labeled "0-3 Months." The other was a European piece labeled "Size 56." The baby,...
How to Actually Win a Designer Mark-Down Event (Without Going Broke)
It was 1:43 in the morning, and I was sitting in the rocking chair nursing my youngest in the pitch black while my phone screen practically burned my retinas. I had twelve tabs open, a virtual shopping cart with a...
A Letter to My Past Self About Finding the Best Baby Shampoo
Dear Marcus from six months ago, You're currently kneeling on a folded towel in our drafty Portland bathroom, gripping a screaming, soapy five-month-old who currently possesses the exact friction coefficient of a greased watermelon. You have sud-splatter on your glasses,...
Finding the right babyspielzeug 6 monate: A zero-BS toy guide
My bare heel came down directly onto the plastic snout of a battery-operated farm animal at three in the morning. The thing didn't just break my skin. It triggered a motion sensor that immediately started blaring a chaotic, tinny rendition...
Finding the Best Infant Face Cream (A Letter to Past Me)
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the Target parking lot in your Subaru. It's raining. You have a lukewarm vanilla latte in the cup holder that you forgot to drink because you were too busy...
Why your baby hates every teething toy you buy
My mother-in-law casually suggested rubbing whiskey on my daughter's gums. The neighborhood mom-group admin swore by a thirty-dollar raw Baltic amber necklace that apparently possesses magical anti-swollen properties. My old charge nurse at the hospital just shrugged, told me to...
Why I Threw Out Our Giant Plastic Baby Activity Table
I was sitting on the living room rug with my coffee halfway to my mouth, staring at my oldest son, Jackson, who looked like he was preparing for a lunar launch. He was six months old and firmly wedged into...
The Great Puree Illusion: My Humbling Education in Infant Spoons
The ceiling of my kitchen in Zone 3 currently sports a rather avant-garde splatter of pureed butternut squash, perfectly preserved from last Tuesday when I attempted to feed the twins simultaneously. Maya, deciding she was finished with her lunch, performed...
How I Finally Hacked The Baby Tee Womens Trend After Two Kids
I was sitting in the driver's seat of my Honda Odyssey in a Target parking lot on a random Tuesday in March, violently regretting every life choice that had led me to this exact moment. I was wearing a neon...