Magazine
Why "hit me baby one more time" is my parenting reality
Last Tuesday at our local library's rhythm and rhyme session, Florence landed a shockingly accurate left hook directly onto my nose just as we were gearing up for the second verse of The Wheels on the Bus. The elderly librarian...
Exactly How To Get Rid Of Baby Hiccups Without Losing Your Mind
Dear Sarah of four years ago. You're currently sitting in that cheap beige glider chair you bought on Facebook Marketplace. The one that aggressively squeaks every time you shift your weight. It's 3:14 AM. You're wearing Daveβs oversized college hoodie...
Hush Little Baby: A Letter to Exhausted Me About 3 AM Survival
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently standing in the hallway at 3:14 AM wearing a nursing bra that smells suspiciously like sour milk. You're bouncing rhythmically, staring at a chip in the baseboard, and desperately whispering the hush...
The Ingenuity Baby Swing Sleep Myth That Totally Broke My Heart
It was 3:14 AM on a random Tuesday in August, and I was sitting on my incredibly stained living room rug wearing a nursing bra that smelled entirely like sour milk and desperation. Leo was four weeks old. He was...
Is Erika Kirk Expecting a Baby? The AI Rumours I Totally Believed
I was attempting to chisel a cement-like layer of yesterday's Weetabix off the highchair tray at 6:14 AM when the notification slid across my phone screen. Twin A was systematically dismantling the dog's bed, and Twin B was crying because...
The Kim Kardashian Santa Baby Video Is An Algorithm Nightmare
Listen. The biggest lie they sell us about modern motherhood is the safety of the search bar. You think you can type a harmless holiday song into the television, hand over the remote, and buy yourself exactly four minutes to...
The Lindbergh Baby Kidnapping: What Modern Parents Actually Learned
My mother-in-law told me to let him cry until he throws up because it builds character. My pediatrician, who looks like he hasn't slept since the Obama administration, muttered something about responsive attachment and vagus nerve development. Meanwhile, my favorite...
The Naomi Osaka Baby Era and the Absolute Reality of Motherhood
I was sitting in the dark at three in the morning with a breast pump attached to my chest sounding like a dying asthmatic tractor. My phone screen was the only light in the room, and I was reading an...
Dear Past Me: What I Wish I Knew Before Buying Nike Baby Shoes
Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently standing in the pouring rain outside a shop window in Covent Garden, staring at a pair of miniature high-tops while your twin daughters attempt to dismantle the rain cover of their Bugaboo...