Surviving The 3 AM Teething Boot Loop & Babies Clothes Fails
The digital thermometer read 99.1Β°F at exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my daughter was methodically attempting to gnaw through the wooden rail of her crib like a beaver possessed. Outside, the Portland rain was doing its usual endless...
The entirely bewildering reality of welcoming an Asian baby boy
I was sitting at the kitchen island last Tuesday, staring at my laptop screen in a state of big confusion, surrounded by the remnants of cold toast. I'd just typed the phrase "asian baby boy" into the search bar, fully...
Why the All Day Baby Phase Will Break You and Rebuild You
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at a half-eaten cold Pop-Tart while swaying aggressively in the dark. My oldest, who's now five and a walking cautionary tale for why we don't negotiate with terrorists, was...
From Sterile Nurse to Farm Baby Mama: Why I Let My Kid Eat Dirt
I'm sitting on a slightly damp bench in Lincoln Park watching my fourteen-month-old son actively consume a handful of topsoil. He pauses to chew, looks thoughtfully at a passing golden retriever, and goes back for seconds. A year ago, I'd...
The Day My Toddler Tried To Steal A Baby Emu At The Local Texas Farm
I was knee-deep in East Texas mud, holding my oldest son by the straps of his denim overalls so he wouldnβt launch himself into a wire fence, while a six-foot-tall dinosaur of a bird stared a hole straight through my...
Dear past me: surviving the botanical shower and the infant year
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of the living room in Wicker Park, staring at a stack of expensive cardstock. You decided to throw a baby in bloom baby shower because it looked nice...
Tina Fey Lied to Me: Why Hollywood Baby Tropes Belong in the Bin
It's 3:14 AM. I'm wedged into the corner of our IKEA sofa in an unnatural, spine-twisting posture because moving even a fraction of an inch will wake Twin A, who's currently drooling a warm puddle onto my collarbone. On my...
Surviving a Baby With No Money Left (Especially When It's Twins)
I was sitting in the driverβs seat of a 2011 Vauxhall Astra in the car park of St Thomasβ Hospital, staring at the NatWest app on my cracked phone screen. My wife was in the passenger seat, clutching a strip...
The Truth About Newborn Onesies (And How Many You Actually Need)
Itβs 3:14 AM in November 2019. I'm standing in the glow of a nursery nightlight that's inexplicably shaped like a slice of pizza, holding a screaming, poop-covered three-week-old Maya. I'm wearing my husband's old college sweatpants which also, somehow, have...