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The ugly truth about silicone jewelry teething trends and safety
I was standing in the checkout line at the Target on Roosevelt Road with a lukewarm cold brew I was too exhausted to actually drink when the geometric mint-green necklace snapped. Maya had a death grip on the nylon string....
Dear Past Marcus: You Will Wear Silicone Teething Jewelry
It’s 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and you’re standing in the kitchen watching Maya try to tape her favorite delicate gold chain back together while our five-month-old daughter looks on with zero remorse. You’re currently thinking, Wow, babies have an...
A Letter to Myself About Those Aesthetic Silicone Teething Toys
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting cross-legged on the gross, unfinished plywood floor of the attic. You're wearing that oversized grey college sweatshirt with the mysterious mustard stain on the left cuff, sweating profusely because it's...
The 3 AM Poop Blowout That Saved Me From Over-The-Head Onesies
There was poop in Leo’s ear. I don’t mean a little smudge, I mean a scientifically impossible amount of bright yellow liquid nightmare that had somehow defied gravity and traveled all the way up his back, past his neck, and...
How a Simple Penguin Blanket Saved My Sanity and My Marriage
It was 2:14 AM and I was literally hovering over the Motorola baby monitor, zooming in on my oldest son's pixelated chest to make sure it was still rising and falling. The thermostat in our drafty Texas farmhouse said 62...
Haakaa Teething Hacks: A Survival Guide to the Drool Apocalypse
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently standing in your sister's kitchen at 2 PM on a Tuesday, wearing those gray sweatpants with the mysterious yogurt stain on the knee, holding your screaming six-month-old nephew. You confidently volunteered...
My Honest Review on Why We Finally Switched to Baumwoll Leggins
I'm currently sitting cross-legged on the floor of my guest room—which is actually just my Etsy shipping room masquerading as a guest room—staring at a plastic tote bin full of toddler clothes my oldest daughter wore three years ago. I...
The baumwoll leggins damen obsession: Decoding my wife's closet
I'm standing in our Portland basement at 11:45 PM, staring at a laundry basket that appears to contain fourteen identical black fabric tubes. Our eleven-month-old just successfully executed a tactical diaper blowout ten minutes after falling asleep, which means I'm...
My Complete Breakdown Over The Trendy Baby Tee Crop Top Phase
It was exactly 9:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I was bent at a perfect ninety-degree angle over the damp sand at Centennial Park, frantically trying to dig what looked like a half-chewed cigarette butt out of my four-year-old Maya’s...