Commuter Train Chaos With An Infant And Other Truths
I'm standing on the train platform at 8:12 AM on a Tuesday, wearing a trench coat that has a crusty streak of spit-up on the left lapel, and I'm clutching a lukewarm coffee like it's a flotation device in open...
The Clinical Truth About Momcozy Carriers and Hip Geometry
The wind coming off Lake Michigan was zero degrees, and I was standing in the Target parking lot on Clybourn trying to figure out a plastic buckle. My three-month-old was screaming in the backseat. I had just pulled him from...
Why the Phrase Sleep Like a Baby is Actually a Massive Fraud
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, and I was wearing Dave's old gray college sweatpants that smelled faintly of sour milk and desperation. I was just staring blankly at the ceiling fan in our bedroom, listening to...
Why your favorite audio show won't patch your infant's firmware
Itβs 3:17 AM. The Portland rain is aggressively smacking against the kitchen window. I've exactly one AirPod in, listening to some pediatric sleep guru explain the best ambient temperature for a nursery, while my sonβan 11-month-old dictator I lovingly refer...
Justin Bieberβs Go Baby Lyrics Secretly Nailed Postpartum Life
There's this massive, steaming lie we all just collectively buy into with pop culture and parenthood. We assume that pop stars writing songs about devotion and holding someone through the night are just penning romantic fluff from inside an air-conditioned...
The 3 AM Breakdown When I Realized That The Baby Is Actually You
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the cold linoleum of my hallway, sobbing into a burp cloth that smelled heavily of sour milk. My oldest son, Wyattβwho now at age four is a perfectly...
How To Actually Survive Your Trench Baby Without Losing Your Mind
It was three in the morning and the Chicago winter wind was violently rattling our bedroom window. I was sitting on the edge of the mattress, glaring at my phone screen in the dark. I had three different tracking apps...
The "i just a baby" phase ruined my pediatric nursing degree
I'm staring at the digital clock on my breast pump. It's 3:14 AM in my freezing Chicago apartment, the wind off Lake Michigan is rattling the windowpanes, and I can't remember what a let-down reflex is. Four years of nursing...
How To Actually Hold A Newborn Without Freaking Out
I'm currently sitting on the peeling linoleum floor of my laundry room, staring at a mountain of spit-up stained onesies, writing this on the back of a wrinkled Target receipt because if I don't get these thoughts out of my...