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The Truth About Baby Feet: Why Everyone's Advice Is Dead Wrong
I swear, the minute I brought my oldest, Jackson, home from the hospital, it was open season on his toes. My mom took one look at his bare little feet on a perfectly pleasant 75-degree Texas afternoon and shrieked that...
My Complete Meltdown Over Petting Zoos and a Tiny Baby Donkey
It's exactly 10:14 AM on a Tuesday and I'm currently wedged between a rusty chain-link fence and a toddler who's vibrating with the kind of feral energy that usually precedes a trip to urgent care. My four-year-old, Leo, is violently...
The ugly truth about buying your toddler a baby doll stroller
There was a tiny pool of blood on my hardwood floor. Not a catastrophic amount, just enough to make my old hospital triage instincts override my standard maternal panic. Maya was on her back, screaming, holding a split lip. Tangled...
The Brutal Reality of Mixing Tiny Puppies and Newborn Twins
I'm standing in our narrow London hallway, holding a slightly stiff hospital blanket that smells intensely of NHS-grade floor cleaner and sheer panic. Page 47 of a highly-rated parenting manual told me I should present this artifact to our terrier...
When your sweet newborn suddenly turns into an actual baby demon
It was exactly 6:43 PM on a Tuesday in November. The radiators in our Chicago apartment were clanking the way they always do when the wind picks up. My sweet three-month-old daughter, who had spent the entire morning peacefully cooing...
So Your Toddler Brought a Live Baby Crow Into the Kitchen
Beau was standing in the middle of my kitchen holding what looked like a dusty, highly aggressive potato. Dirt was falling onto my freshly swept linoleum, our golden retriever was losing his absolute mind by the back door, and an...
Why Everything TV Taught You About Baby CPR is Dead Wrong
I was standing at my kitchen island yesterday, quartering grapes for my three-year-old with the kind of frantic, sweaty precision you only develop after your firstborn nearly checked out over a piece of hidden plastic. I had some medical drama...
What A Baby Chimpanzee Actually Taught Me About Human Parenting
It was three in the morning in the postpartum ward. I was bleeding through a mesh pad, staring at my newborn son in his plastic bassinet, waiting for the maternal instinct software to finish downloading. I thought it would just...
What a Wild Baby Chimp Taught Me About Raising Twin Toddlers
I'm currently lying flat on the rug in our London living room, staring at a patch of ceiling that desperately needs painting, while someone repeatedly hits my left shin with a plastic spatula. Twin A (Isla) is shrieking because her...