Magazine

A crumpled Pippi lΓ€tzchen bandana bib on a coffee table next to a half-empty mug.

Why Pippi LΓ€tzchen Saved Us from the Teething Drool Nightmare

I'm standing in my kitchen at 4:12 PM on a Tuesday in late November. I'm wearing my husband's oversized grey fleece that smells vaguely of stale coffee and desperation, and I'm holding my five-month-old son, Leo. He is screaming. Not...

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A wooden bunny baby rassel resting on a messy living room rug

Surviving the Night with a Baby Rassel: Why Simple Toys Win

The digital clock on the microwave glared at me in aggressive, glowing red numbers: 3:14 AM. I was standing barefoot in a puddle of something unidentifiable (let's optimistically call it water) while holding a screaming two-year-old who was currently producing...

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Vintage Ty plush toys sitting on a nursery shelf next to modern organic baby products

Finding An August 3rd Beanie Baby: The Truth About Birthday Twins

It was exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was wearing Dave’s grey college track pants with a crusty spot of peach yogurt on the left knee, and I was literally locked in a high-stakes bidding war with a stranger...

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Toddler girl standing on a kitchen island while exhausted mom drops coffee mug

When Your Baby Squirrel Is Good At Everything (Except Sleeping)

It was a Tuesday. 2:14 PM. I was standing in my kitchen wearing black leggings that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since the previous Thursday and a nursing bra that was basically just a loose suggestion of...

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Exhausted dad staring at an iPad screen while his 11-month-old baby chews on a silicone panda teether on the rug

The Great "Baby Tana Porn" Autocomplete Disaster Of 2024

At exactly 7:14 PM last Tuesday, my wife stopped breathing. It wasn't a medical emergency, but rather a sharp, terrifying inhalation of pure, unfiltered judgment. We were sitting on the couch in our Portland living room, the rain aggressively attacking...

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A baby making a hilarious sour face after tasting a pickle spear for the first time in a highchair.

The Truth About Giving Your Baby Pickles for the Very First Time

It was August 2017, and we were in my brother-in-law’s backyard for a family barbecue. I was standing there, sweating through a stained maternity tank top that I absolutely should have retired three months prior, balancing a seven-month-old Leo on...

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Digital calipers measuring a neon sour gumball next to a silicone teether

My Brother's Cry Baby Bubble Gum Gag Gift Caused a Full System Panic

My brother Dave stood in our kitchen holding a plastic tub shaped like a giant teardrop, grinning like he had just solved a complex algorithm. Dave is 28, works in crypto, and his entire frame of reference for human infants...

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A tired mom holding an acoustic guitar and a baby teether in a messy nursery.

Lil Baby Fridayy - Forever Chords: The 2 AM Search Mix-Up

The biggest lie the parenting internet tells you is that you can safely operate a search engine while running on two hours of sleep and a lukewarm cup of yesterday's coffee. Let me paint a picture for you. It was...

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Sleep deprived father holding a teething toy and staring at his phone in shock

The "Babi Chula Porn" Typo: A Warning to Sleep-Deprived Parents

Dear Tom from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the nursery rocking chair at 3:14 am, bathed in the harsh blue light of your smartphone while Twin A attempts to extract your left incisor with her surprisingly sharp...

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