Oh Baby, A Triple: Surviving the Rule of Threes in Parenting
Itβs 3:14 AM on a random Tuesday. I'm standing barefoot on the freezing kitchen tiles wearing a Target robe that smells aggressively like sour breastmilk and pure desperation, holding a plastic pump flange in one hand and a half-empty mug...
Dear Past Me: What Pete Davidson Actually Got Right About Newborns
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting in the Target parking lot in your embarrassingly stained yoga pants, drinking a lukewarm latte and having a full-blown panic attack. Your best friend just texted that she's officially going into...
The Unfiltered, Messy Truth About Your Baby's Diaper Deposits
We were somewhere on I-35 between Waco and Austin when the smell hit. My middle kid, who was about four months old at the time, let out a sound from the backseat that I can only describe as a bullfrog...
The truth about the signs of RSV in babies before you panic
Everyone thinks a severe respiratory infection announces itself with a siren and a neon sign. You expect a blazing fever, violent coughing fits, maybe a dramatic rash that tells you exactly when it's time to panic. But the biggest myth...
The Newborn Spreadsheets: Confessions of a Recovering Stat Baby Obs...
Dear Tom from two and a half years ago, You're currently sitting in the glow of your phone screen in the hallway outside the nursery, aggressively logging "three minutes of unsettled grizzling" into an app that costs Β£4.99 a month....
Stat Baby Boyfriend: Surviving The Newborn Phase Together
It was 2:14 in the morning and my shoulder was covered in something that smelled like old yogurt. Our baby boy was doing that silent, terrifying breath-holding thing that happens right before a lung-shattering scream. My boyfriend was standing in...
The "Maybe Baby" Fantasy vs. Bringing Home Your Actual Newborn
It was 3:17 in the morning, and the blue light from my smartphone was practically burning my retinas as I sat in the rocking chair, desperately trying to log exactly how many ounces of breastmilk my oldest had just choked...
Dear Me: Surviving Your First Little Baby And The Fourth Trimester
It's three in the morning right now. You're sitting in the dark nursery, covered in a sticky fluid you're too tired to identify, rocking a screaming infant while questioning every life choice that led you here. I know you feel...
Debugging the Johnson's Baby Oil Skin Hydration Myth for Dads
My hands are slick with a ridiculous amount of synthetic fragrance and highly refined petroleum, and my eleven-month-old son is currently sliding across the living room hardwoods like an aggressive, giggling hockey puck. It's a Tuesday evening. I'm trying to...