The Unvarnished Truth About Your Infant's Shifting Eye Colour
Dear Tom from eighteen months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery at three in the morning, holding an iPhone torch uncomfortably close to Maya's face to see if her irises have developed any gold flecks, while...
When Do Babies Finally Learn To Hold Their Own Bottle?
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing a stained College of Charleston t-shirt that smelled heavily of sour milk and sheer exhaustion. Leo, who was about five months old at the time, was doing this infuriating...
When Will My Baby Actually Roll Over? A Dad's Data Log
It was 2:14 AM on a random Tuesday when the firmware update clearly hit. I rubbed my eyes, squinted at the grainy night-vision feed on the baby monitor, and froze. My previously stationary, log-like child was suddenly facedown in his...
The Absolute Chaos of When Do Baby Teeth Fall Out (And What to Do)
It was 7:12 AM on a Tuesday, and I was staring at a Honeycrisp apple that looked like it belonged in a crime scene. Maya, who's seven but was acting like she was being actively abducted by aliens, was standing...
Why Nursery Rhymes For Babies Actually Work Better Than White Noise
It was 3:17 AM in the dead heat of a Texas July, the cicadas were screaming outside my window, and my oldest son Liam was screaming even louder right directly into my collarbone. I had sour milk on my shirt,...
What Being a Baby Mama Actually Means Off the Internet
I was sitting on the floor of my guest bedroomβwhich I generously call my "Etsy shipping headquarters"βwith packing tape stuck to my thigh, listening to a 90s hip-hop playlist, when a song came on loudly dropping the phrase "baby mama."...
The Truth About Baby Gravy: Why Sunday Roasts Need a Rewrite
It's 2019. Sunday roast at my mother-in-law's house. Maya is eight months old and currently mashing a piece of dry chicken into her highchair tray with the kind of intense focus usually reserved for defusing bombs. My mother-in-law, bless her,...
What I Wish I Knew About The Great Cow's Milk Transition Phase
Dear Jess from exactly six months ago. I see you standing in the dairy aisle at the local HEB, staring at the red cap on a gallon of whole milk like itβs a radioactive artifact. You're sweating through your favorite...
The Huge Baby Bouncer Myth I Totally Believed With My First Kid
It was a Tuesday in 2017, and I was wearing a pair of black maternity leggings that had a distinct smear of Greek yogurt crusted onto the left knee. Maya was three months old. I was standing in my kitchen...