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Before and After: Smoking Baby Back Ribs With An 11-Month-Old
It's 6:14 AM on a damp Portland Saturday, exactly 43.7 degrees outside, and I'm standing on my patio holding a squirming eleven-month-old in my left arm and a slippery rack of raw pork in my right. I'm staring at the...
The truth about moving your backyard chicks outdoors safely
The guy at the rural feed store with the missing thumb told me four weeks. The homesteading influencer on TikTok, who somehow wears pristine white linen in an active barn, said eight weeks minimum. My neighbor who treats her three...
The Existential Dread of Nursery Organization at 2 AM
I'm currently sitting cross-legged on the floor of my daughter's room at 2:14 AM, using a camping headlamp to sort her organic cotton socks by color gradient. The smart thermostat is locked at exactly 69.5 degrees, the humidifier is outputting...
What Does Baby Booster Mean? My Chaotic Guide To Seats And Sanity
Tuesday, 4:13 PM. Itβs pouring rain, my iced coffee is watering down to a depressing beige puddle in my cupholder, and I'm standing next to my Honda CR-V staring at my phone while Leo, who's four and possesses the lung...
What Does a Baby Cockroach Look Like? My 2 AM Nursery Panic
Dear Jess from six months ago, Put down the heavy shoe, stop crying into the clean laundry basket, and take a deep breath. You're sitting on the nursery floor at 2 AM with a flashlight, going down a frantic internet...
What I Wish I Knew Before Feeding Our Backyard Baby Chicks
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the driver's seat of the Subaru in the Tractor Supply parking lot. Your iced coffee is sweating all over the center console, you're wearing that stained gray college sweatshirt...
Dear Past Jess: What You Need to Know About Sweet Baby Jesus Beer
I'm currently sitting on the floor of the den with a bottle of carpet cleaner in one hand and a rag in the other, aggressively scrubbing a dark, sticky stain out of the rug while my one-year-old screams from the...
A Letter To Myself: Stop Buying Crap and Write a Better Baby Card
Dear Sarah from last October, You're currently standing in the greeting card aisle at the Target on Route 17, wearing those black leggings with the mysterious yogurt stain on the left knee, holding an iced oat milk latte that's aggressively...
Protecting Kids from the Baby Animals Porn Man Search Threat
I used to think you could just hand a toddler a tablet, toggle the little settings menu to 'preschool age,' and walk away to make a cup of chai in peace. I genuinely believed the tech companies had it all...