Surviving toddler time warps and the baby g watch revelation
Yesterday at 4:15 PM, I watched a fellow parent achieve the impossible by the swings in Victoria Park. His seven-year-old daughter was mid-tantrum, fully committed to avoiding the inevitable march home for dinner. Then, a tiny beep emanated from her...
Why Your Kid's Baby Doll Accessories Are Actually A Massive Deal
It was 2:15 PM on a Tuesday, and I was sitting on the living room rug in a pair of yoga pants that hadn't seen an actual yoga studio since roughly 2018. I was enormously pregnant with Leo, sweating through...
Surviving the Baby Mozart Delusion With Two Extremely Loud Twins
It was 3:14 AM on a dismal, rain-soaked London Tuesday, and I was pinned to the sofa beneath two howling six-month-olds, frantically jabbing at my phone with my nose. I was trying to skip a shockingly loud Spotify advert for...
The unvarnished truth about baby coloring pages and eating wax
We were sitting in a rather nice gastropub in Highbury when Florence, who was exactly eleven months and four days old, locked eyes with me and bit the top half off a complimentary red pub crayon. She chewed it with...
The Truth About Those Perfect Baby Playing Quotes I Used To Hate
It was exactly 3:14 AM. I know this because the glowing green numbers on our cheap digital alarm clock were basically burning holes into my sleep-deprived retinas. I was sitting in the grey nursing glider we bought off Craigslistβthe one...
When "Baby Please Don't Go" Means "Please Stop Giving Me Advice"
I was standing in aisle four of Target, holding a half-empty iced vanilla latte that I had honestly forgotten paying for, while my four-month-old daughter Maya tried to literally eat my hair. She was wearing this pale yellow onesie that...
Dear Past Me: A Messy Open Letter About Buying Baby Sandals
Dear Sarah from last May, You're currently sitting on the cold linoleum floor of aisle 14 at Target. You're wearing those embarrassing faded black leggings with the tiny hole near the left knee, holding a venti iced cold brew that's...
The Truth About Those Hypnotic Dancing Fruit Videos
The steam from the shower was fogging up my phone screen, but I could still hear the upbeat, slightly manic techno music bouncing off the bathroom tile. My oldest, Tyler, was strapped into his bouncer chair next to the toilet,...
Why I Regret (And Still Love) Buying Baby Blue Jordans For My Kid
It was Tuesday, 2:14 PM, and the sun was absolutely baking the squishy rubber flooring at Centennial Park. I was wearing leggings that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since Sunday and an oversized Nirvana tee with a...