Magazine
A Tech Dad's Review of the Baby Einstein Sea Dreams Soother
Last Tuesday, my mom told me to just leave the baby in the crib with a bottle of warm milk, my lead frontend developer swore I needed to strap a vibrating pad to the mattress, and a guy on TikTok...
Finding Safe Baby Ear Piercing Near Me: A Dad’s Honest Review
Hey Marcus from six months ago. You're currently sitting in the dark, bathed in the blue light of your phone at 2:14 AM while Maya sleeps on your chest, casually typing baby ear piercing near me into Google Maps like...
What A 3 AM Bird Search Taught Me About Surviving The Newborn Phase
I was standing in the kitchen at 3:14 AM wearing my husband's college sweatpants that had this unidentifiable crust on the left knee, vibrating with the kind of exhaustion that makes your teeth hurt. Leo was about four weeks old...
The Kentucky Cheerleader Case and My Postpartum Wake-Up Call
I was sitting cross-legged on the linoleum floor of my laundry room at 3:14 AM, aggressively folding a pile of those impossibly tiny baby socks that somehow always lose their mates, when the headline popped up on my phone screen....
The Great Lil Baby Height Panic: A Dad's Late Night Mistakes
The metal tape measure snapped back with the terrifying velocity of a striking cobra, narrowly missing my left eye and causing Twin B to shriek with such piercing intensity that the neighbour's dog immediately began howling in sympathy. It was...
Surviving Your Own Lil Baby Tour 2025 Without Losing Your Sanity
Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of your Chicago apartment, surrounded by piles of tiny socks that don't match. The radiator is hissing. It's two in the morning, and you're trying to figure out...
Dear Past Marcus: Lil Nas X Industry Baby is Not a Nursery Song
Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago, Picture this exact scenario, because you're going to live it soon enough. You're standing in the kitchen, aggressively whisking a bottle of formula at 2:14 PM, wearing a gray t-shirt that hasn't seen...
Why The Sore Loser Baby Phase Feels Like A Fatal System Error
7:14 PM. The structural integrity of the three-block tower has failed. My 11-month-old son, Leo, is staring at the fallen soft rubber cubes like they just insulted his ancestors. His face turns the color of a locally sourced Portland beet,...
The Truth About Madison Beer Yes Baby And Your Infant's Sleep
I was sitting in the preschool pickup line yesterday, elbow-deep in a lukewarm thermos of coffee, when the mom in the pristine white Tahoe next to me rolled her windows down and started blasting what sounded like a Miami nightclub...