That Terrifying Sound: When Babies Start Grinding Their Teeth
2:14 AM. A Tuesday. I was wearing a pair of my husband's college sweatpants that hadn't seen the inside of a washing machine since the Obama administration, clutching a lukewarm mug of yesterday's French press coffee—don't judge me, caffeine is...
The "Baby Three" Elf Plush Trend is Actually a Nightmare
It’s 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm standing in my kitchen wearing my husband Dave's college sweatshirt that has a highly questionable yogurt stain on the sleeve. I'm clutching a mug of lukewarm French roast like it’s a life...
The Truth About That December 18th Beanie Baby From Your Mom
My mom lugged the giant, opaque Rubbermaid tub through my front door right as I was trying to unlatch a screaming newborn from my chest, kicking off her shoes and announcing that she had finally found my inheritance. It was...
The Truth About Getting a December 15 Beanie Baby for Kids
My mother-in-law cornered me by the diaper pail on Tuesday morning. "You absolutely must get him the Ty toy with his exact birthday to keep in his crib," she announced, waving a screenshot from some Facebook collector's group. Three hours...
The Hunt for a December 10th Beanie Baby Birthday Twin
At 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, I found myself in a heated eBay bidding war with a user named PlushQueen99 over a stuffed zebra from 2003. My daughter was asleep in the next room, the baby monitor glowing on my...
The 3 AM Nostalgia Spiral and the January 10th Beanie Baby
I was wearing my husband Dave's college sweatpants—the ones with the mysterious bleach hole near the left knee—balancing a lukewarm mug of dark roast on my nursing pillow, while frantically refreshing an auction site on my phone. My left breast...
Why That October 8th Beanie Baby Birthday Twin Belongs on a Shelf
My mother-in-law brought over Bo the Portuguese Water Dog last week. She proudly announced he was an October 8th beanie baby, which meant he was my daughter's exact birthday twin. My sister-in-law immediately texted me to put it in the...
A Note From The Future About That October 6 Beanie Baby Idea
Dear Marcus from six months ago, you're currently hovering your cursor over the "Buy It Now" button on eBay at 2:14 AM while your five-month-old is finally asleep after what felt like a system-wide hardware failure. You've just discovered that...
The exact october 30th beanie baby that broke my brain
I'm sitting on the cold linoleum floor of my laundry room in a nursing bra that hasn't seen the inside of a washing machine in at least three days, aggressively refreshing an eBay tab on my cracked iPhone with one...