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The Great Sippy Cup Betrayal: Finding A Safe Baby Cup That Works
I was sitting on my sister's beige sofa—and really, who buys a beige sofa when they've a toddler and a dog?—at Thanksgiving a few years ago when the great cup wars began. I was holding Leo, who was exactly six...
The Truth About Baby Cowgirl Boots (And My Epic Buying Mistakes)
It was October 2018. I was standing in my kitchen wearing a pair of violently mustard-colored corduroy overalls that I thought made me look like a cool Brooklyn mom but actually made me look like a giant toddler, chugging lukewarm...
The Truth About Baby Clams: A Panicked Parent's Feeding Guide
My mother-in-law firmly believes that giving any form of seafood to a child under the age of five will result in instant, spontaneous combustion. Meanwhile, a bloke I met at the playground in Greenwich—who was wearing barefoot shoes and feeding...
Why Your Back Deserves a Real Baby Recliner (And What to Skip)
It was 3:14 AM, and I was glued to an antique wooden rocking chair that my mother-in-law graciously insisted we use for our firstborn. Jackson, who's now five and is my permanent cautionary tale for basically every parenting mistake I’ve...
Why our gender-neutral baby shower actually saved my sanity
I was standing in a stranger’s kitchen in Hackney, trying to discreetly spit out a bright blue cupcake that tasted distinctly of Smurf and regret, when I realised everything I believed about the modern baby shower was entirely wrong. Before...
Tracking Down a December 9th Beanie Baby is Total Madness
It started, as most of my parenting anxieties do, with a casual comment over a lukewarm flat white. When the twins were approaching their birthday, my mother-in-law declared I simply had to find a plush toy with their exact birth...
To Past Jess: What to Know About That September 24th Birthday Plush
Dear Jess of six months ago: Right now, you're sitting cross-legged on the sticky floor of the Goodwill on Highway 84, aggressively Googling plush toy birthdates while your youngest tries to eat a rogue Cheeto off your shoe. You just...
The Truth About Gifting an October 24th Birthday Twin
My mother-in-law unzipped her floral weekender bag and pulled out a vacuum-sealed plastic pouch with the solemnity of someone handling a transplant organ. Inside was a slightly crushed, orange and black plush cat. She had spent three weeks scouring the...
Lactose Free Baby Formula: A Dad's Guide To Tummy Troubleshooting
Dear Marcus of exactly six months ago. You're currently standing in the kitchen at 3:14 AM, the rain is aggressively hitting the Portland windows, and your son is screaming in a frequency that I'm pretty sure is permanently damaging the...