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What To Do When Your Kid Demands A Baby Nessie Fisch On Roblox
It's 7:14 AM on a Tuesday. I'm wearing my husband's gray college sweatpants—the ones with the mysterious, hardened yogurt stain on the left knee that absolutely refuses to wash out no matter how much bleach I throw at it. I'm...
Dear Jess: The Honest Truth About The Baby Milo Confusion
Dear Jess from six months ago, I know you're sitting on the porch right now, sweating through a t-shirt in this ridiculous Texas humidity, staring at your phone while the toddler tries to feed gravel to the dog. You're exhausted....
The Reality of Raising a Baby Koala: How to Survive the Cling
It's currently two o'clock on a Tuesday afternoon, and I'm trying to pack three customized initial sweatshirts for my Etsy shop using exactly one hand, because my youngest, Leo, is currently attached to my torso like a damp, heavy little...
A Letter to My Clueless Past Self About Hoarding Baby Gear
You're currently standing in aisle four of John Lewis, holding a £40 electronic device designed exclusively to warm wet wipes, quietly convincing yourself that if the twins experience a cold wipe on their bottoms, it'll somehow ruin their developmental trajectory...
The Absurd Reality of Managing Your Infant's Changing Hairline
I'm standing over the bathtub at 6:45 PM with a plastic comb in one hand and a remarkably slippery, screeching two-year-old in the other, desperately trying to yank a knot out of her wet fringe. This, for the record, is...
The Great Baby Golden Retriever Myth And How My Family Survived
There's a specific sort of betrayal you feel when you're prying a soggy, half-chewed muslin cloth out of the jaws of a twelve-week-old retriever while simultaneously trying to stop a toddler from attempting to ride said animal like a Shetland...
The Complete Disaster of Buying a Baby Gate for Stairs
I'm halfway down the staircase, suspended entirely in mid-air at 2:14 in the morning, clutching a sticky bottle of strawberry Calpol in one hand and a shrieking twenty-pound toddler in the other. My left foot has just hooked firmly under...
The absolute hell of buying baby furniture (and what to buy)
It was 2017, I was twenty-four weeks pregnant with Maya, and I was sitting cross-legged on the linoleum floor of a massive warehouse store crying into a half-empty iced oat milk latte. I was wearing these atrocious grey Target maternity...
Why That Adorable Baby Bunny Is a Terrible Idea for Your Toddler
I was elbow-deep in a basket of mismatched toddler socks last night when a post in my local county Facebook group made me drop my phone right into the laundry basket. Some sweet, incredibly naive mom had posted, "Looking for...