How searching for the best baby dragon evo decks cost me $142
It was Tuesday night, roughly 9:45 PM. I was standing in the kitchen wearing my husband Mark's gray sweatpants and a college t-shirt that literally still had dried oatmeal on the left shoulder from breakfast. I was holding my phone,...
The Drowsy But Awake Deception and Other Newborn Survival Lies
I was halfway through singing a deeply out-of-tune rendition of 'Wonderwall' to a tiny human who was aggressively trying to headbutt my collarbone when I realised the greatest lie ever sold to modern parents. It was 3:17 am, Twin A...
The Truth About Free Baby Quilt Patterns (And What Not to Do)
I'm currently staring at a pile of mangled, vaguely triangular fabric scraps that were supposed to be matching heirloom blankets for the girls. It’s 11:43 PM. The sewing machine sitting on our dining table is making a rhythmic, grinding noise...
My Son's Vintage February 13 Plushie Almost Caused A System Crash
I was sitting on the floor of my home office, watching the Portland rain hammer against the window, when I unboxed a neon pink flamingo from 1995. My mother mailed the package to us last week. Apparently, Ty plush toys...
How learning the dont worry baby chords fixed our sleep bugs
At 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was standing in the middle of our Portland nursery holding an iPad running a professional-grade decibel meter app in my left hand while frantically toggling between twelve different "womb environment" Spotify tracks with...
Taylor Swift And Baby That's Show Business For You: A Mom's Take
There's this massive, steaming pile of a myth out there that the second they put a squirming, screaming newborn on your chest in the hospital, your brain just instantly deletes all pop culture knowledge to make room for the lyrics...
Finding the Ideal Humidity for Baby: A Letter to My Past Self
It's exactly fourteen minutes past three in the morning, and you're currently standing in the center of the girls’ bedroom in just your boxer shorts, clutching a damp muslin cloth like a surrender flag. You're staring at a cheap digital...
Humphrey the Beanie Baby For One Crossword: Toy Safety Guide
I was standing at my kitchen island at 6:30 this morning, elbow-deep in shipping labels for my Etsy shop and desperately trying to drink my coffee before it hit room temperature, when my phone buzzed. It was a text from...
A Dad’s Guide on How to Sex Baby Bunnies Before It’s Too Late
I'm currently sitting cross-legged on my living room rug, sweating profusely, staring intensely at the underside of a highly uncooperative ball of fluff, desperately trying to decode its hardware ports. When my wife, Sarah, suggested we encourage two domestic kits...