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Exhausted dad sitting on a yoga mat surrounded by baby toys and twin girls

The Humiliating Reality of Trying Baby Yoga With Twins

I'm currently lying on a foam mat that smells faintly of damp digestive biscuits and municipal floor cleaner in a drafty church hall in Hackney. The instructor, a woman named Serenity who's wearing linen trousers that look entirely too comfortable...

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Tired dad examining baby clothing labels while holding a tube of nappy cream

When that angry red nappy rash is actually a fungal invasion

I was standing over the changing mat at three in the morning with Twin A, heavily sleep-deprived and holding a spatula covered in Sudocrem, when I realised the biggest lie in modern parenting is that every red bottom just needs...

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An exhausted dad staring blankly at a crying baby in a dimly lit living room

When your baby won't stop crying and the manuals are useless

It's 4:13 AM, and I'm bouncing on a grey exercise ball in the middle of my living room, clutching Florence, who's currently emitting a sound I can only describe as a fire engine trapped inside a very angry cat. Matilda,...

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Dad sitting in a dimly lit nursery looking at a baby sleep in a crib

What I wish I knew about raising our baby with Down syndrome

Hey man. It’s Marcus. Or rather, it’s you, exactly six months in the future. I know exactly what you’re doing right now. You’re sitting in the blue glow of the humidifier at 3:17 AM, holding your phone six inches from...

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Stressed dad looking at a laptop while a baby plays on a wooden play gym

A Dad's Guide to Newborn Investment Accounts and Dictator Logic

Dear Marcus from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery surrounded by three different W-2 forms, a half-eaten sleeve of stale saltines, and your phone open to a deeply unhinged Reddit thread about IRS Form...

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Stressed dad looking at thermometer while baby teeth coming in

Dear Past Marcus: A Warning About The Teething Firmware Update

Right now, you're sitting on the edge of the nursery rug in the dark. It's 2:14 AM. The baby is screaming with the intensity of a dial-up modem connecting to a bad server, and you're holding a digital thermometer that...

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A small acoustic guitar next to some scattered soft rubber building blocks

The Truth About Buying a Baby Taylor Guitar for Kids

I'm currently watching roughly three hundred and fifty quid’s worth of solid Sitka spruce being used as a battering ram against my Ikea coffee table. My twin daughters, who possess the combined destructive power of a small localized tornado, have...

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Toddler hands covered in sheer pink adult nail polish

Why OPI's "Baby Take a Vow" Polish Caused a Panic in Our House

The smell hit me before I saw the damage. It was that sharp, chemical scent of a beauty salon, floating down the hallway and completely overpowering the faint aroma of stale oat milk and damp wool that usually defines our...

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A confused toddler staring blankly at a wooden play gym and baby blankets

Why my timeline for a new baby sister is completely broken

I was staring at a plastic stick with two bright pink lines on our bathroom counter, right next to a half-chewed rice rusk that Leo, my 11-month-old, had abandoned to go fight the bath mat. My wife picked up the...

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