Why You Can Stop Panicking About Your Bow Legged Baby
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the sticky kitchen floor at 3:14 PM in those gray sweatpants with the mysterious yogurt stain, literally holding a plastic ruler up to Leo’s calves while he tries to eat...
Finding the Best Organic Baby Formula (Without Losing Your Mind)
Dear Tom of two years ago, You're currently standing in the kitchen in yesterday's tracksuit bottoms, using the dim light of the microwave to read the German instructions on a tin of imported infant milk. Both twins are screaming upstairs...
When your baby won't stop crying and the manuals are useless
It's 4:13 AM, and I'm bouncing on a grey exercise ball in the middle of my living room, clutching Florence, who's currently emitting a sound I can only describe as a fire engine trapped inside a very angry cat. Matilda,...
Staring At Walls: The Blurry Truth About Baby Vision Development
It was 3 AM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I was wearing a gray maternity tank top from Target that smelled strongly of sour milk, stale coffee, and raw desperation. The house was entirely silent except for the rhythmic,...
The Baby Steps Metacritic: Stop Treating Walking Like A Game
I was sitting on a damp park bench in Wicker Park last Tuesday, nursing a lukewarm coffee, when a mother I barely know ambushed me. She had that specific, tense energy of a woman who'd just read four different parenting...
When Your Kid Folds in Half: Surviving a Frank Breech Baby Delivery
"Put a frozen bag of frozen peas on the top of your belly," my neighbor Shelly told me at the grocery store, cornering me between the canned beans and the tortillas. "Stand on your head in the swimming pool," my...
The Murky Truth About Fetal Digestion and Prenatal Poop
I was halfway through a slightly stale samosa in the L&D breakroom at Northwestern Memorial when I heard a first-time mom down the hall completely lose her mind. Her water had just broken, and instead of looking like a clear...
Why Family Ties Baby Keem Is Wrecking Your Smart Speaker
My mom swore that piping classical Mozart into the nursery would turn my kids into literal baby Einsteins, bless her heart. My oldest kid's preschool teacher insisted we stick exclusively to acoustic farm animal songs if we wanted decent behavioral...
Why Parents Keep Posting For Sale Baby Shoes Never Worn Online
I'm currently sitting on the floor of Leo’s closet. It’s Tuesday, somewhere around 11 AM, and I'm wearing a faded college t-shirt that smells vaguely of sour milk and desperation. I've an iced coffee next to me that was hot...