The jason lee and tiffany haddish baby rumour broke my brain
Whatever you do, don't look at celebrity Instagram accounts at three in the morning while one of your two-year-olds is actively trying to dismantle a stair gate with a plastic spoon. I made this massive mistake last August, which is...
Dear Past Tom: The Utter Chaos of Choosing Italian Monikers
Dear Past Tom (specifically, the deeply naive version of me from roughly six months ago who confidently volunteered to help my sister-in-law pick out an Italian moniker for her upcoming arrival), You're currently hunched over a lukewarm flat white in...
The Absurd Reality of Raising a Hemangioma Baby (And Not Dying)
If you ever find yourself holding your phone's flashlight inches from your sleeping infant's shoulder at three in the morning while furiously typing "rapidly growing bright red lump" into a search engine, just shut the laptop and go to sleep,...
What Is A Baby Boomer? A Survival Guide to Modern Grandparents
Don't, under any circumstances, pull up a PDF from the NHS while your father is trying to demonstrate how to properly swaddle an infant using a terrifyingly thick, incredibly scratchy polyester quilt from 1982. I did this during our first...
Why raising a gentle lady baby is an absolute, hilarious myth
I'm standing in the kitchen at 3:14 AM, wearing a dressing gown that hasn't seen a washing machine since Tuesday, trying to negotiate with a tiny human who has somehow managed to get pureed carrot inside her own ear canal....
The Great 3AM Hunt for Baby Girl Names Starting With V
The glow of the laptop screen at three in the morning is a uniquely hostile type of light, especially when it’s illuminating a spreadsheet containing seventy-four potential names for a human being you haven't even met yet. Outside our London...
What to wear to a baby shower when nothing fits (a survival guide)
Sarah was wedged inside a floral maternity dress that had, seemingly overnight, transformed from breezy summer elegance into a highly restrictive sausage casing. It was mid-July, she was thirty-two weeks pregnant with the twins, and our own baby shower was...
When Can You Find Out Gender Of Baby? A Twin Dad's Honest Guide
I was standing in our galley kitchen on a miserable Tuesday afternoon, holding a plastic cup of my wife’s morning urine in one hand and a slightly expired box of baking soda in the other. The internet—that infinite void of...
Reading a Baby Blues Comic Today Won't Save You From the Crash
It's 3:14 am. I'm standing in our freezing London kitchen, crying silently over a piece of cold toast. Not because the toast is particularly tragic, but because the kettle made a slightly aggressive hissing sound and the sheer audacity of...