My Beanie Baby Website Search: A Dad's Guide to Winter Hats & Toys
I'm sitting in the artificial blue glow of my MacBook at 3:14 AM, desperately clicking through a retro-looking beanie baby website that looks like it hasn't seen a CSS update since Netscape Navigator was a thing. My 11-month-old son is...
The Great Midnight Laundry Crash: Blankets and Baby Thermodynamics
I'm standing in our dimly lit basement laundry room at 2:14 AM, holding what used to be a piece of luxury textile, and it currently looks like a severely depressed, matted muppet. My wife is standing in the doorway, her...
Surviving 29 Weeks: From Butternut Squashes to Tiny Terrorists
I'm currently watching a piece of steamed sweet potato make its third, highly ambitious trajectory across my kitchen, propelled by the shockingly strong left arm of a child who, until very recently, was basically a sentient bag of flour. If...
The Completely Unfiltered Guide to Buying Baby's Room Furniture
When I was pregnant with my first, my mother-in-law showed up at my house hauling an antique, drop-side wooden cradle that had been sitting in a humid East Texas attic since 1984. It smelled like mothballs and questionable structural integrity....
When that angry red nappy rash is actually a fungal invasion
I was standing over the changing mat at three in the morning with Twin A, heavily sleep-deprived and holding a spatula covered in Sudocrem, when I realised the biggest lie in modern parenting is that every red bottom just needs...
The $1200 Stroller Lie and What You Actually Need
I was standing in a high-end Dallas baby boutique, six months pregnant with my first, staring at a $1,400 stroller that looked like a sleek European spaceship while my husband nervously checked our checking account balance on his phone. The...
Why Every Baby to Kid Meme Feels Like a Literal Personal Attack
I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub at 11:14 PM last night, staring blankly at the bathroom tiles while my three-year-old staged a sit-in protest on the bath mat because the water I used to wash his hair...
The Honest Truth About Baby Tees and Sensitive Skin
My mom told me to put three layers and a fleece snowsuit on my oldest when we left the hospital in mid-April because she swore "a chill will get him" the second we stepped outside. My younger sister, who doesn't...
Why Homemade Baby Suji Saved My Grocery Budget and My Sanity
"Just give him rice cereal in a bottle," my grandma told me over the phone while I was actively scraping a dried crust of mashed banana off my kitchen cabinets. "No, skip grains entirely, meat only," a girl in my...