Why I Threw Out My First Baby’s Clothes for Organic Cotton
I was sitting on the floor of my Texas laundry room last Tuesday, elbow-deep in a plastic storage bin labeled "0-6 Months," when I pulled out a stiff, neon-orange "Daddy's Little Monster" onesie I bought for my oldest kid five...
The Firmware Update on Rice Cereal For Babies and First Foods
I was standing in aisle four of our local Portland New Seasons market, staring blankly at a cardboard box of beige dust, desperately checking the version history on baby feeding protocols. My 11-month-old was securely strapped to my chest, actively...
Smoked Baby Back Ribs: Safely Feeding Your Messy Little Ones
My neighbor Jim handed my nine-month-old a giant, sticky rib bone last summer at a Fourth of July block party. "Look at him!" Jim yelled over the sound of a lawnmower, completely ignoring the sheer, unadulterated panic on my face....
Surviving the baby dinosaur phase without losing your mind
Don't, under any circumstances, attempt to correct a two-year-old on the precise anatomical posture of a Stegosaurus. I learned this at 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, standing in my kitchen holding a lukewarm mug of tea while Twin One shrieked...
I Googled "Baby Chicks For Sale" And Now My Living Room Smells Like...
I'm currently staring at a 100-litre plastic storage tub in my hallway that's emitting a continuous, high-pitched sound, much like a smoke alarm that has somehow developed a needy personality. Inside this tub are four baby chicks. I blame Instagram,...
The 3 AM Reality of Raising a Baby Chick With a Toddler
It's three in the morning on a Tuesday. I'm standing over my bathroom sink with a warm, damp paper towel, delicately wiping dried feces off the backside of a baby chick. My husband is asleep. My toddler is asleep. I'm...
The parking lot panic and the truth about keeping kids safe
Dear Priya from six months ago. You're sitting in the back of your Honda CR-V in the Target parking lot on Elston Avenue. The doors are locked. The engine is running. You're sweating through your grey scrub top. You just...
The Chinese Gender Calendar Trap: A Letter to Past Me at 3 AM
Dear Tom from six months ago, I know exactly what you're doing right now. You're sitting on the closed lid of the downstairs toilet at 2:13 AM, the harsh bathroom light burning your retinas, holding a plastic Tesco pregnancy test...
The great baby toys invasion: A survival guide for tired parents
It's 4:13 in the morning, and I've just stepped barefoot onto a hard plastic sheep that immediately responded by bleating the alphabet into the dark, silent hallway. I froze, my foot hovering above the floorboards, waiting for the inevitable twin...