Why the Teething Freezer Trick is a Disaster (And the Silicone Fix)
I was standing in front of the open refrigerator at 3:14 AM wearing a t-shirt I’d spilled coffee on twelve hours earlier, holding my oldest son Tucker while he screamed bloody murder. He was about five months old, drooling like...
The 3 AM Poop Blowout That Saved Me From Over-The-Head Onesies
There was poop in Leo’s ear. I don’t mean a little smudge, I mean a scientifically impossible amount of bright yellow liquid nightmare that had somehow defied gravity and traveled all the way up his back, past his neck, and...
The ganzkörper lätzchen saved my twins from tomato sauce ruin
There's a persistent, incredibly damaging rumour floating around antenatal classes that starting your baby on solid food is a gentle, aesthetic journey. You're led to believe you'll hand your darling infant a perfectly steamed baton of sweet potato, which they'll...
The brutal truth about buying your baby's winter sweater
It was mid-November in Chicago, which means the wind off the lake feels like tiny knives. I was running late for a four-month well-child check. My mother-in-law had gifted us this thick, chunky-knit mustard pullover that looked adorable on the...
Why Pippi Lätzchen Saved Us from the Teething Drool Nightmare
I'm standing in my kitchen at 4:12 PM on a Tuesday in late November. I'm wearing my husband's oversized grey fleece that smells vaguely of stale coffee and desperation, and I'm holding my five-month-old son, Leo. He is screaming. Not...
Die richtige Zahnbürste für Kleinkinder finden (ohne Drama)
Meine Schwiegermutter drängte mich am Dienstagmorgen in der Küche in die Ecke – sie trug diese furchteinflößende Schürze mit den riesigen Sonnenblumen, an der noch etwas Mehl klebte –, fuchtelte mit einem Pfannenwender herum und meinte: „Rubbel einfach mit einem...
Why lätzchen personalisiert saved my daycare sanity
It was a Tuesday in late October, and I was staring at the neckline of my middle kid’s shirt like it was an active crime scene. The blue terry-cloth drool catcher around his neck had a faded, washed-out Sharpie mark...
Why The Wrong Infant Play Mat Will Ruin Your Tuesday Afternoon
It was 2:14 PM on a particularly bleak, rain-lashed London Tuesday, and a plastic, primary-coloured toucan was aggressively singing a distorted, tinny version of ‘La Cucaracha’ while swinging precisely three inches above my daughter’s nose. I was sitting on the...
Surviving the newborn clothing trap and the truth about baby shirts
The meconium was somehow behind his left ear. I was twenty-four hours postpartum, sitting in a dimly lit Chicago hospital room, trying to remove a rigid, non-stretch cotton collar from my son's wobbly, grapefruit-sized head without getting the black tar-like...