Why Adding a Baby Duck to Our Family Was a Terribly Stupid Idea
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. The baby monitor was flashing that menacing yellow warning color, indicating my son was tossing around again. I was sitting on the edge of the bed in the dark, scrolling through a local...
What a Baby Cheetah Taught Me About My Own Crawling Toddler
We were standing in front of the big cat enclosure at the Bronx Zoo last Tuesday. I was wearing my aggressively stained Lululemon leggings, holding a lukewarm cup of drip coffee that tasted faintly of pennies, while Leo—who's four going...
Why Rescuing That Adorable Coastal Baby Seal Is A Terrible Idea
We were twenty minutes into what was supposed to be a restorative family morning on a Cornish shingle beach, locked in a desperate battle with a pop-up windbreak that refused to pop anywhere but directly into my face, when Twin...
The Backyard Fawn: A Guide To Not Kidnapping Wildlife
Listen, the first time you find a tiny, spotted woodland creature curled up next to your hostas, your brain short-circuits. You immediately assume the worst. You look at this fragile thing breathing shallowly in your mulch, and your mind goes...
The Baby Cow Confusion: Milk Rules and Adorable Bovine Trends
It was 2018, I was wearing a stained nursing tank that smelled faintly of sour yogurt, and I made the ultimate rookie parenting mistake. Leo was ten months old, we were completely out of his usual formula, and it was...
Dear Past Me: Stop Googling "Baby Chicks For Sale" Before You Read ...
You're standing in aisle four of the farm supply store. It’s April. You're wearing those black leggings with the mysterious crusty yogurt stain on the left knee, balancing a rapidly melting iced oat milk latte against your hip, while Maya—who's...
The Portland Backyard Bug: Debugging Encounters with Baby Animals
I'm standing in my perpetually damp Portland backyard at 6:15 AM, holding a lukewarm mug of coffee like a shield, while my 11-month-old son, Leo, points a chubby, sticky finger at what appears to be a vibrating pile of dead...
Looking for Baby Goats for Sale in Cobleskill? Read This
I'm currently hiding in the downstairs loo while my two-year-old twin daughters attempt to dismantle a perfectly good Amazon box in the hallway, and I'm furiously scrolling through listings for baby goats for sale in cobleskill on my phone. You...
A Dad’s Guide on How to Sex Baby Bunnies Before It’s Too Late
I'm currently sitting cross-legged on my living room rug, sweating profusely, staring intensely at the underside of a highly uncooperative ball of fluff, desperately trying to decode its hardware ports. When my wife, Sarah, suggested we encourage two domestic kits...