Magazine

Tired dad sitting on a rug while twins bang wooden toys against a play gym

Surviving the Baby Mozart Delusion With Two Extremely Loud Twins

It was 3:14 AM on a dismal, rain-soaked London Tuesday, and I was pinned to the sofa beneath two howling six-month-olds, frantically jabbing at my phone with my nose. I was trying to skip a shockingly loud Spotify advert for...

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A half-eaten green crayon on a messy highchair tray next to a scribbled paper

The unvarnished truth about baby coloring pages and eating wax

We were sitting in a rather nice gastropub in Highbury when Florence, who was exactly eleven months and four days old, locked eyes with me and bit the top half off a complimentary red pub crayon. She chewed it with...

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An exhausted mother holding a very cranky baby wearing a flutter sleeve bodysuit

Surviving the Baby Porcupine Phase (A Letter to My Past Self)

Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold tile of the downstairs bathroom. It’s 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, you’re wearing those tragic gray sweatpants with the bleach stain on the left thigh, and you're hiding...

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A bewildered grandparent holding a modern baby item while a tired dad looks on

The Baby Boomers Age Range: Why Grandparents Think We're Neurotic

"Put a spot of whiskey on their gums," my father-in-law suggested casually, sipping his tea while watching Twin A attempt to violently gnaw her way through our oak coffee table. Later that same Tuesday, my mother informed me via text...

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Mom riding a bicycle with a toddler in a rear-mounted seat on a rural dirt road

What I Wish I Knew Before Buying a Bike Seat for My Baby

Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the concrete floor of the garage, sweating through your favorite oversized t-shirt in this humid Texas heat, trying to decipher an instruction manual that appears to be written entirely in...

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Two toddlers playing in a modern indoor foam infant play pit

The absolute chaos of the home baby ball pit (and why we caved)

"Get them a tub of plastic spheres," my mother-in-law announced over Sunday roast, waving her fork for emphasis, "it tires them out." "Don’t you dare," warned Clara from my NCT group a week later, eyes wide over her flat white,...

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Confused dad holding an American Girl Bitty Baby doll while his toddler looks on in the nursery.

Surviving the American Girl Bitty Baby Hardware Update

It was 2:18 AM on a Tuesday. The ambient temperature in the nursery was exactly 68.4 degrees, according to the three different sensors I had calibrated that afternoon. I was executing a standard tactical stealth retreat after successfully resetting my...

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Tired father holding a tiny electric infant toothbrush while twin girls run away

Dear Past Me: The Baby Sonic Toothbrush Wars Will Break You

Dear Tom of six months ago, It's currently Tuesday evening, and you're sitting on the cold, damp tiles of the family bathroom. You have a standard-issue manual infant toothbrush clutched in your sweating right hand, while your twin daughters have...

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Toddler drinking safely from a soft silicone cup instead of a metal tumbler

Why giving your toddler a baby stanley is a pediatric nightmare

Tuesday morning. My fourteen-month-old has both hands wrapped around the base of my forty-ounce metal tumbler, trying to deadlift it off the coffee table. He is vibrating with effort. The cup outweighs his head. He manages to tilt it just...

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