Why Bobby Sherman Cried Like a Baby (And Why Yours Does Too)
Yesterday at my favorite craft coffee spot, the barista handed me my iced Americano and casually mentioned that letting an 11-month-old scream in his stroller builds "diaphragmatic resilience." Two hours later, my mother-in-law texted to warn me that responding to...
Parenting In The Digital Age And The Terrifying Teen Timeline
My mom told me over FaceTime yesterday that the foolproof solution to internet safety is to simply hand my daughter a flip phone when she turns sixteen and strictly refuse to acknowledge the existence of wifi until she graduates college....
Troubleshooting Purees: My Hunt for the Best Baby Food Maker
It was 1:14 AM and I was holding a tactical flashlight to the water reservoir of a $150 baby appliance. I had my phone camera zoomed in to 3x magnification, trying to verify if the cluster of black specks inside...
The Search for the Best Baby Car Seat (A Dad's Hardware Review)
The rain was blowing sideways across the Providence Portland hospital parking lot, and the discharge nurse was staring intensely at my hands. I was attempting to click my three-day-old son's carrier into the base I had confidently installed in my...
The Strange Logic of Beanie Babies Birthdays & Safe Sleep
It was exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the pale, unforgiving light of the open refrigerator, holding a slightly dusty, bright pink plush platypus inside a gallon-sized Ziploc bag. My 11-month-old was finally asleep after...
The Great Midnight Laundry Crash: Blankets and Baby Thermodynamics
I'm standing in our dimly lit basement laundry room at 2:14 AM, holding what used to be a piece of luxury textile, and it currently looks like a severely depressed, matted muppet. My wife is standing in the doorway, her...
Decoding the chaos of a baby's pacifier without losing your mind
My mother-in-law cornered me by the diaper pail on day three of my son's life, waving a neon green chunk of silicone and declaring that if I didn't plug him up right now, he'd be a thumb-sucker until college. Twelve...
What I wish I knew about raising our baby with Down syndrome
Hey man. It’s Marcus. Or rather, it’s you, exactly six months in the future. I know exactly what you’re doing right now. You’re sitting in the blue glow of the humidifier at 3:17 AM, holding your phone six inches from...
Parenting a Baby Wario: When Your Newborn is High-Needs
I'm standing in the dark hallway at 3:14 AM, bouncing on my heels at exactly 60 beats per minute, because any deviation in rhythm causes the 11-pound human in my arms to reboot into a full-scale meltdown. Outside, the Portland...