Magazine
The Truth About the Baby Boomers Years and Grandparenting
I was standing over the kitchen sink, scraping congealed mac and cheese off a plastic plate with my fingernail, when I heard my mom tell my oldest, "Here you go, baby boo, let's just put a little extra blanket in...
When The Grandparents Bring Over Their 1980s Death Trap Baby Gear
I was wearing my husband’s stained grey sweatpants, the ones with the mysterious hole near the left knee, standing in my driveway at 10 AM on a Tuesday while clutching a mug of coffee I had already microwaved three times....
Wait, Are Baby Bonnets Safe? My 2 AM Infant Hair Loss Panic
It was exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. I know this because my glowing phone screen was mocking me in the dark. I was sitting in the nursery rocking chair wearing a maternity tank top that smelled strongly of sour...
What to Do When Your Toddler Finds a Baby Bird in the Backyard
I'm currently crouched in the damp Portland mud, holding my 11-month-old by the back of his diaper like a defective briefcase, while we both stare at a violently vibrating clump of feathers in the grass. It looks like a moldy...
Why Baby Bellas Are Just Portobellos in Denial (And Perfect for Bab...
I was standing in the vegetable aisle at Sainsbury’s, a twin balanced on each hip, desperately trying to distinguish between a punnet of white mushrooms, baby bellas, and portobellos. That's when I learned the great agricultural lie of our generation:...
What Finding Baby Bed Bugs at 3 AM Actually Does to a Parent
The glow of my phone screen at 3:14 AM illuminated what I can only describe as a tiny, malevolent sesame seed crawling across Maya's fitted sheet. I had only come into the nursery because she had done that specific, high-pitched...
What I Wish I Knew Before Bringing Home a Tiny Spiky Lizard
Jackson’s face was pressed so hard against the glass of the terrarium I thought his nose might permanently flatten into a little pancake. We were just supposed to be at the pet store buying dog food, but my five-year-old had...
Dear Past Sarah: What I Wish I Knew About The Entire Bear Phase
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold, slightly sticky linoleum of the downstairs bathroom, hiding from your own family. It’s, like, 9 AM on a Tuesday, and you're wearing those gray sweatpants with the...
Surviving Twin Bath Time And The Suction Cup Seat Illusion
Before I had even figured out how to turn on the taps in a way that wouldn’t instantly scold or freeze my daughters, I was already fielding contradictory instructions from everyone I knew about how to wash them. My mother-in-law...