Magazine

A simple wooden play gym on a messy rug surrounded by organic toddler clothes.

How To Raise A Baby Dolphin Without Losing Your British Mind

At exactly 6:14 AM on a bleak Tuesday, I was standing in our London kitchen trying to enforce what a very expensive hardcover parenting book called a "structured learning boundary" while Maya systematically crushed a rice cake into the tile...

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A tired dad staring at his phone in a dark room (max 125 chars)

Why Searching Baby Dolls Dallas Is A Hilarious Parenting Mistake

Texas, for those who haven't had the pleasure of dragging a jet-lagged toddler through it, is less a state and more an ongoing experiment in aggressive air conditioning. We were staying in an Airbnb that smelled faintly of cinnamon and...

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Baby wearing a flowy baby doll top playing with a soft toy on a bamboo blanket

Debugging The Silhouette: Why My Kid Wears Baby Doll Tops

3:14 AM. I'm holding a piece of fabric that looks like a miniature maternity dress, trying to calculate the best trajectory for pulling it over my 11-month-old’s wildly thrashing head. It has a seam that stops abruptly right under the...

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Toddler twin girls roaring in the living room wearing dinosaur outfits

Surviving the baby dinosaur phase without losing your mind

Don't, under any circumstances, attempt to correct a two-year-old on the precise anatomical posture of a Stegosaurus. I learned this at 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, standing in my kitchen holding a lukewarm mug of tea while Twin One shrieked...

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Mom looking stressed while holding a baby covered in a messy diaper blowout

How I Survived the Absolute Chaos of Infant Blowouts and Runny Poop

I'm standing in the cramped, overly bright bathroom of a Buc-ee's somewhere off I-35, staring at my oldest son who's currently painted from waist to shoulder blades in what looks like radioactive mustard. He's screaming his lungs out. I'm actively...

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A mother watching her teething baby play with wooden animal toys.

Why Your Teething Toddler Acts Like a Wild Baby Crocodile

"Bite him back," my mom told me over the phone last Tuesday while I sat on the kitchen floor and iced the fresh, purple teeth marks on my forearm. "That'll teach him right quick." Meanwhile, the crunchy preschool director had...

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A tired mother holding a coughing baby in a dimly lit nursery

The brutal truth about baby cough medicine and what actually works

At 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was standing in my dark kitchen holding a thrashing, coughing toddler while my phone lit up with three different text threads. My mom was typing paragraphs about rubbing warm mustard oil on his...

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A tired dad staring at a tiny frosted glass bottle of baby cologne

A letter to myself about the absolute madness of baby cologne

Dear Tom of Six Months Ago, You're currently standing in the hallway of the semi-detached in Balham, holding a tiny, frosted glass bottle gifted by your remarkably chic European mother-in-law. You're staring at the words "Eau de Senteur" printed in...

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A cardboard brooder box full of baby chicks next to a highly stressed father

I Googled "Baby Chicks For Sale" And Now My Living Room Smells Like...

I'm currently staring at a 100-litre plastic storage tub in my hallway that's emitting a continuous, high-pitched sound, much like a smoke alarm that has somehow developed a needy personality. Inside this tub are four baby chicks. I blame Instagram,...

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