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The Truth About Giving Your Baby Pickles for the Very First Time
It was August 2017, and we were in my brother-in-lawβs backyard for a family barbecue. I was standing there, sweating through a stained maternity tank top that I absolutely should have retired three months prior, balancing a seven-month-old Leo on...
Dear Past Marcus: Please Stop Panicking About Baby Swiss Cheese
You're standing in the glowing light of the open fridge. It's 2:13 AM on a Tuesday. You have a block of sharp cheddar in your left hand and your phone in your right, aggressively cross-referencing milligrams of sodium on a...
Dear Past Jess: The Butternut Squash Baby Food Survival Guide
Put the dull paring knife down, honey. Just lay it gently on the cutting board and step away from the counter before you end up in the rural Texas ER explaining to a very tired nurse how a vegetable completely...
Dear Me: Brand Website Classic Salads Organic Baby Spinach
Dear Jess from exactly six months ago, Put down the giant plastic clamshell of greens and step away from the food processor. I know you're standing in the middle of your kitchen right now with postpartum hair falling into your...
Botanical Interests Organic Lettuce Mesclun Gourmet Baby Seed
I was standing in aisle four of the Pearl District Whole Foods, aggressively cross-referencing a bag of pre-washed spinach with the CDCβs active E. coli outbreak database on my phone, while my eleven-month-old actively tried to lick the shopping cart...
The absolute terror of serving meat baby food to a six-month-old
There I was, standing in our kitchen at half past seven in the morning, staring at a cardboard tube of organic baby rice that looked and smelled exactly like the Polyfilla I used to patch the hallway skirting board last...
The Night "Sugar Baby Production" Ruined My Search History
It's exactly 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the glowing blue square of the baby monitor is showing me the night-vision outline of my eleven-month-old son doing something that looks suspiciously like a plank. He has been teething for what...
Toddlers and Smoked Baby Back Ribs: My Messy Survival Guide
It was the Fourth of July, 2021, and I was wearing a white linen Zara sundress because I'm apparently an idiot who likes to tempt fate. Leo was just barely fourteen months old, sitting in his high chair on the...
The Great Sippy Cup Betrayal: Finding A Safe Baby Cup That Works
I was sitting on my sister's beige sofaβand really, who buys a beige sofa when they've a toddler and a dog?βat Thanksgiving a few years ago when the great cup wars began. I was holding Leo, who was exactly six...