Survival Guide for the Man Who Might Be Installing a Baby Gate
My dad told me to just let the kid tumble down the bottom two steps to teach him basic physics. The guy in the orange apron at the hardware store tried to up-sell me a three-hundred-dollar industrial lock system that...
Finding the best evo baby dragon deck (When you thought it was a toy)
Standing in my kitchen at 2 AM, waiting for the bottle warmer to hit exactly 98.6 degrees, I got a text from my 12-year-old nephew asking if I could Apple Pay him five bucks so he could finish building the...
Surviving the Chaos of Smoking Baby Back Ribs With Toddlers
It was 4:13 PM on the Thursday before Memorial Day, and I was wearing my absolute favorite, completely impractical white linen top from Zara. I don't know why I wore white. It was an act of extreme hubris. My husband,...
That Cute Little Green Alien Herb is Definitely Not for Kids
I was standing in line at H-E-B last Tuesday, wrestling my squirming two-year-old on my hip while trying to order a baby shower gift for my cousin on my phone. She is completely obsessed with that Mandalorian show, so I...
Debugging Mealtime: The Hunt for Non Toxic Baby Plates
I was standing in our kitchen at 6:15 AM on a Tuesday, holding a steaming "eco-friendly" bamboo baby plate that suddenly smelled exactly like the motherboard I accidentally fried during a college hackathon. My 11-month-old son, Leo, was banging his...
Thermal Throttling: Why We Finally Switched to a Bamboo Baby Blanket
It was 2:14 AM during that ridiculous heat dome we had in Portland last July, and the Nanit camera monitor was basically glowing red. The nursery temperature was hovering at 78 degrees despite the window AC unit aggressively coughing in...
The Ugly Truth About My First Custom Organic Baby Onesie
I was standing in the middle of my kitchen, covered in a highly suspicious mixture of mashed sweet potatoes and spit-up, trying to peel a personalized milestone shirt off my oldest son, Leo. It was his half-birthday, because I used...
Why You Must Buy Baby Bibs Organic: A Pediatric Nurse Explains
I was staring at a laundry basket overflowing with thirty-two polyester-blend baby shower gifts when I realized my registry was a massive failure. Before I had my son, I thought these fabric scraps were just cute accessories to tie an...
Why I Finally Ditched Cotton for Bamboo Mini Crib Sheets
There I was in a La Quinta Inn somewhere outside of Waco, wrestling a sandpaper-stiff cotton sheet over a travel mattress at two in the morning while my oldest, Tucker, screamed like he was being exorcised. Every time I got...