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Clueless dad holding a baby while looking confused at a smartphone screen.

Wait, How Old is Baby Gronk? (And Other Parenting Anxieties)

My wife caught me measuring the exact distance between our coffee table and the dog bed with a laser tape measure while our 11-month-old gnawed enthusiastically on a rogue piece of cardboard he'd found behind the router. "I'm setting up...

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A stressed dad looking at a clock while holding a fussy baby who hasn't pooped in three days.

How To Relieve Constipation In Babies Quickly (Without Panicking)

Dear Tom of eighteen months ago. You're currently standing in the kitchen at 3:17 AM, illuminated only by the aggressive LED glow of the microwave clock, holding a completely rigid infant. Maya’s face is the exact shade of a Royal...

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Exhausted father sitting in a dimly lit nursery looking defeated while holding a baby

What the Megan Fox baby tells us about surviving your late thirties

When my wife fell pregnant with our twins, her aunt cornered me at a family dinner to insist we buy a wipe-warmer because cold wet wipes supposedly cause long-term emotional damage. The very next day, my mate Ianβ€”who has three...

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A tired dad holding a swaddled newborn while staring at a birth plan

The Megan Love Is Blind Baby: What I Learned About Birth Plans

I was sitting in the dark at precisely 3:17am, trying to scrape a fossilised bit of Weetabix off my left sock without turning on the lamp, when I saw the news. My phone screen lit up with a notification about...

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The Great Naked Baby Rebellion: Surviving Twin Toddler Nudity

It's 7:14 AM, and the unmistakable sound of bare feet slapping against the cold hardwood floor echoes down the hallway. I'm standing near the radiator holding a pair of tiny corduroy trousers that cost more than my first car, watching...

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Tired mom staring at a wall of infant probiotic drops in a pharmacy aisle

The Huge Lie About Infant Gut Health And What We Actually Did

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing Dave's old college sweatshirt that smelled faintly of spit-up and big despair. I was holding our four-month-old, Maya, who was doing that terrifying rigid-board back-arch thing while screaming at...

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Exhausted dad holding coffee while his 11-month-old plays on an organic polar blanket

Why Raising an 11-Month-Old Feels Like Having a Baby Polar Bear

At 3:14 AM last Tuesday, I found myself sitting on the nursery floor in the dark, bathed in the blue light of my phone, holding a sleeping 11-month-old who currently weighs as much as a medium-sized microwave. My browser history...

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Exhausted mom scrolling a baby meme on her phone in the dark

The midnight baby meme: surviving internet chaos and newborn life

Listen. The absolute worst thing you can do at 2:42 AM when your infant is staring at the ceiling like they owe it money is open a sleep training forum. I used to do this. I'd sit in the dark,...

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A stressed mom folding a baby winter coat while hiding in the laundry room

Baby It's Cold Outside Lyrics Drama & Winter Layering

Dear Jess from last December. You're currently hiding in the laundry room, sitting on a pile of unfolded bath towels, frantically trying to look up the baby it's cold outside lyrics on your cracked phone so you can prove a...

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