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The utter chaos of dressing twins in retro kids clothes
My mother-in-law practically kicked our front door off its hinges last Tuesday to hand me a bin bag full of highly flammable, heavily synthetic 1984 baby rompers that my wife apparently wore, insisting the twins needed to wear them immediately....
A Letter To Past Me About The Winter Onesie Sweater Situation
Dear Tom of six months ago. You're currently standing by the radiator in the front room of our freezing London flat, staring at your hands. The boiler is making that ominous clunking sound again, Alice is attempting to eat a...
The Newborn Kimono Top: A First-Time Dadβs Troubleshooting Guide
My mom told me babies only need plain white onesies because that's what I wore and I survived with all my limbs intact. The aggressively hip barista at my local Portland coffee shop insisted I only use hand-woven hemp sacks...
The Great Layering Crash: Figuring Out Fall Baby Girl Outfits
We were in the back of my Subaru Outback in the Sauvie Island pumpkin patch parking lot, and my eleven-month-old daughter was emitting the thermal energy of a small sun. It was maybe 58 degrees outside. But inside the car,...
What I Wish I Knew About Knit Rompers Before Baby Number Three
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently standing in the middle of Target, eight months pregnant with your third baby, holding a mustard yellow acrylic one-piece and crying into your iced coffee. Your ankles are swollen to the size...
Why That Adorable Baby Girl Sweater Set is a Trap (And How to Survi...
There's a very specific, muffled grunting sound a three-month-old makes when you're trying to force her exceptionally wobbly, disproportionately large head through the unyielding neck-hole of a rigidly knitted garment. Itβs a noise that instantly broadcasts to the entire Costa...
Dear Past Tom: The Truth About Vintage Style Infant Dresses
Dear Tom of six months ago. It's 3 AM, and you're currently staring at your phone in the dark, bidding forty quid on a pair of authentic 1950s smocked baby gowns on eBay. Stop it immediately. Put the phone down,...
The Hard Truth About Buying Authentic Vintage Newborn Dresses
I'm currently staring at a yellowed, lace-covered, pintucked monstrosity hanging on the back of my laundry room door. It's my great-aunt's baptism gown from 1942, and my mother just drove it three hours across Texas in a garment bag like...
The brutally honest guide to sorting out vetement bebe fille
I was standing in the dark holding a tiny, poop-covered denim jacket. It was week two of motherhood. Maya was screaming, I was crying, and I couldn't figure out how to unbutton three microscopic metal snaps while keeping her flailing...