The 'Is Your Baby Crying Meme' Explained: A Letter To Past Me
3:14 AM. The Apple Watch on my wrist is vibrating, aggressively warning me that the ambient noise level has reached 95 decibelsβroughly the equivalent of standing next to a gas-powered lawnmower. The noise source is exactly fourteen inches from my...
Why I Sing Mariah Carey Always Be My Baby At 3 AM For Sleep
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in 2017, and I was sweating through a gray David Bowie t-shirt that had questionable yellow spit-up crusted on the left shoulder, trying desperately to remember what you're actually supposed to buy if...
A Desperate Letter to Myself About Surviving Newborn Babies
Dear Tom from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the edge of the sofa at 3:14 AM, wearing a dressing gown that smells fiercely of sour milk and something I can only describe as biological despair. One of the...
Hiring A Baby Sleep Consultant Saved My Sanity (And Marriage)
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. I was wearing Daveβs stained college sweatpants, nursing my four-month-old son Leo for the seventh time that night, and staring at the glowing screen of my phone through eyes that felt like they...
The Late Night Panic Guide To Baby Shaking Head Side to Side
You're staring at the grainy green footage of your baby monitor at two in the morning. Your kid is doing this aggressive, rhythmic thrashing thing against the mattress. It looks like they're trying to start a mosh pit in a...
The UK Cheerleader Baby Story Is Our Biggest Motherhood Nightmare
Let's just obliterate the biggest, most dangerous lie the hospital discharge nurses hand you right along with those giant mesh underwear. The absolute biggest myth of motherhood is that your "maternal instinct" is some kind of magical, invisible force field...
The midnight origami crisis: A letter to my past swaddling self
Dear Past Tom, You're currently sitting on the edge of a plastic-covered mattress in the maternity ward of St Thomas' Hospital, staring at a screaming, red-faced potato named Alice, while her twin sister, Lucy, is somehow already escaping the blanket...