A Letter to Myself About That Ridiculous Digital Baby Tiger
Dear Jess from six months ago, I know you're currently standing at the kitchen island, elbow-deep in raw chicken while the baby aggressively throws cheerios at the dog, but I need you to drop the tongs and walk into the...
Why I Finally Banned Baby Super Bratz Movies in My House
I was up to my elbows in Etsy shipping labels, frantically trying to beat the rural Texas post office cutoff time, when I heard the unmistakable sound of my good MAC lipstick being dragged across the hardwood floor. You know,...
My Honest Take on the Weird Baby Saja Coloring Page Obsession
It was exactly 6:13 AM on a Tuesday, and I was holding a half-empty mug of yesterday's cold brew, staring blankly at my kitchen wall. My bare left heel had just found a rogue black colored pencil in the hallwayβyou...
Why john baby doll dixon won't help you buy a safe baby doll
My mother-in-law told me yesterday that Maya needed a doll immediately to develop her maternal instincts before she turns two. My pediatrician muttered something vaguely terrifying about the airway obstruction risks of cheap toy accessories. The woman next to me...
The Tomodachi Life Save Editor Panic: Hacking for Virtual Babies
It was exactly 6:43 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing a target-brand fleece robe that has an unidentifiable crusty stain on the left pocket (yogurt? toothpaste? honestly I don't want to know), pouring my...
How Many Babies Do Squirrels Have? A Garden Mystery
The incident began on a particularly damp Tuesday in our local park, right around the time I was wondering if it was socially acceptable to drink a lukewarm thermos of coffee at 9 a.m. Maya and Chloe had their faces...
How I completely debugged our library of baby books for girls
It's 2:14 AM on a Tuesday. I'm sitting cross-legged on the nursery floor, surrounded by a mountain of glossy cardboard. My wife, Sarah, is blissfully asleep down the hall, and our 11-month-old daughter is currently executing a sleep cycle that...
Surviving the Inevitable Baby Keyboard Smash in My Home Office
"asdfghjkl;'" was the exact, unedited message I sent to my accountant last Tuesday at 9:14 AM. I'd love to claim it was an avant-garde statement about the futility of modern tax law, but the truth is considerably shorter, louder, and...
Finding the best evo baby dragon deck (When you thought it was a toy)
Standing in my kitchen at 2 AM, waiting for the bottle warmer to hit exactly 98.6 degrees, I got a text from my 12-year-old nephew asking if I could Apple Pay him five bucks so he could finish building the...