So Your Sweet Kid Brought Home A Horrific Joke From Preschool
"Wash his mouth out with Dial soap," my mom texted back immediately after I panic-messaged her from the kitchen floor. My grandma, bless her heart, told me on the phone to just pretend I went completely deaf and ignore it...
Raising a King Baby: Truby King, 3 AM Googling, and Tiny Tyrants
The whole mental collapse started at exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, which is historically the time my brain decides to compile all its worst processing errors into one massive system failure. I had grand plans for this particular weekendβI...
My Toddler Found the Lil Baby New Album on Our Smart Speaker
There I was, elbow-deep in cold oatmeal, desperately trying to keep the twins from launching their sticky spoons at the dog, when my four-year-old casually yelled across the kitchen at our smart speaker. Heβs my oldest, which means he's my...
How Innocent Baby Searches Become Complete Digital Nightmares
Listen. I was standing in my kitchen wearing sweatpants with a suspicious stain on the knee, desperately trying to mash an avocado while a small human shrieked at my ankles. You know the exact kind of screaming I'm talking about....
Surviving toddler time warps and the baby g watch revelation
Yesterday at 4:15 PM, I watched a fellow parent achieve the impossible by the swings in Victoria Park. His seven-year-old daughter was mid-tantrum, fully committed to avoiding the inevitable march home for dinner. Then, a tiny beep emanated from her...
The Day We Brought A Swamp Creature Into My Kitchen
It was exactly 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in my kitchen wearing my husbandβs ten-year-old college sweatshirt with a mysterious bleach stain on the sleeve. I hadn't even taken my first sip of lukewarm oat milk...
The Literal Baby Don't Hurt Me Phase Of Parenting Is Actually Wild
It was a random Tuesday at exactly 6:14 AM, and I was wearing those tragic gray sweatpants with the mysterious bleach stain on the left thigh that my husband absolutely hates. I had exactly half a sip of lukewarm French...
Why The Viral Baby Crying Meme Hits Way Too Close to Home
It's 2:14 in the morning. I'm sitting in the dark in my living room, the blue light from my phone illuminating my deeply exhausted face. I'm looking at a viral post about a toddler who's completely losing his mind because...
What to actually do when you find a baby raccoon in the yard
Listen, I was trying to pull dandelions out of the garden beds last Tuesday while Maya sat on the grass. She pointed a sticky finger toward the fence line and made a noise that sounded like a question. I thought...