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Why That Horrifying Teeth Grinding Sound Your Baby Makes Is Fine
It was exactly 2:14 in the morning when I first heard it. A rhythmic, grating sound cutting through the otherwise silent nursery, like someone slowly crushing chalk with a mortar and pestle, or perhaps a tiny, furious geologist trying to...
Surviving the 3AM Drool Fest: The Quest for a Safe Cold Teether
The blue light of the freezer illuminated my despair at precisely 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. Behind me, from the nursery, emanated a twin-stereo wailing that sounded less like human infants and more like a flock of seagulls fighting over...
The Great Teething Toy Mix-Up: Babies, Bunnies, and Panic
It was 11:14 AM on a Tuesday in 2018, and I was wearing a pair of maternity leggings I legally should have burned three months prior. Maya was nine months old, screaming the kind of high-pitched, gum-throbbing scream that makes...
Why I Finally Swapped My Gold Chain for a Mother Teething Necklace
We were at a coffee shop in Wicker Park last Tuesday when I saw it. A perfectly nice woman at the next table wrestled a string of Baltic amber beads around her six-month-old's chubby neck. I took a slow sip...
My kid's favorite chew toy is a blue baby tee (a survival guide)
Tuesday, 2:14 PM. It's aggressively raining in Portland, which is our baseline, but what isn't standard is the sheer volume of fluid currently exiting my 11-month-old's mouth. I'm sitting on the living room rug, watching him systematically destroy a perfectly...
Why the Haakaa style silicone teether finally ended my 3am nightmare
I'm standing at the kitchen sink at 3:14 in the morning, wearing a dressing gown that smells faintly of sour milk and despair, aggressively attacking a tiny nylon mesh bag with an old toothbrush. In the background, Maya is wailing...
The Truth About Why I Finally Caved and Bought a Mitt Teether
It was three in the morning, the floorboards in our old Texas farmhouse were freezing, and I had just stepped directly onto a plastic giraffe that was completely slick with baby spit. My oldest son, Carter, was four months old...
Dear Past Me: The Truth About Globuli Zahnen Baby Nightmares
Dear Jess of last November. You're currently sitting on the cold linoleum of the downstairs bathroom at 3:14 AM. You have a twenty-pound toddler balanced on your left hip, who's screaming hot fire directly into your collarbone, and in your...
Zahnfleisch beim Zahnen: Wie sieht es wirklich im Babymund aus?
Lieber Tom von vor sechs Monaten, Es ist 3:14 Uhr morgens und du sitzt gerade im Halbdunkel unseres Wohnzimmers in Hackney, wΓ€hrend der Londoner Regen gegen das Fenster peitscht. Auf deinem SchoΓ windet sich Matilda, eine deiner zweijΓ€hrigen ZwillingstΓΆchter, und...