The Truth About Baby Fat and When to Actually Worry
I was standing in the checkout line at HEB last Tuesday, balancing a pack of diapers on my hip and praying my debit card wouldn't decline, when the cashier zeroed in on my youngest. "Oh my goodness, look at those...
The Science Behind Why My Bad Singing Is the Best Baby Song Hack
It's 3:14 AM, and my phone's screen brightness is aggressively burning a hole in my retinas while I frantically scroll through Spotify. I'm trying to find this viral audio I saw on a parenting reel yesterday. Apparently, some influencer swore...
Why The Modern Baby-Sitters Club Reboot Is Actually Good
Sitting on my sofa last weekend, I made a critical error in judgment. I queued up the baby-sitters club 1995 movie for my ten-year-old niece, Maya, expecting a beautiful bonding moment over vintage denim and childhood innocence. Don't do this....
The Absurd Reality of Managing Your Infant's Changing Hairline
I'm standing over the bathtub at 6:45 PM with a plastic comb in one hand and a remarkably slippery, screeching two-year-old in the other, desperately trying to yank a knot out of her wet fringe. This, for the record, is...
Debugging Fatherhood: What Silverbacks Taught Me About Babies
I was standing in our Portland kitchen at 3 AM, wearing a stained t-shirt and intensely color-coding my son's diaper output in a spreadsheet, when I realized my troubleshooting manual for fatherhood was completely corrupted. The lactation consultant at the...
What's That Supposed to Be About Baby? Decoding Newborn Quirks
I was holding my iPhone flashlight over my daughter's bassinet at 3:14 AM, trying to see if her tongue was vibrating. She was making this rapid-fire clicking sound that sounded exactly like a dying hard drive. I had my other...
The Honest Truth About When Do Babies Laugh (And Why I Stopped Trying)
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in the middle of the nursery wearing a milk-stained nursing bra and sweatpants I hadnβt washed in a week, making aggressive, high-pitched monkey noises at my three-week-old son, Leo....
Why "hit me baby one more time" is my parenting reality
Last Tuesday at our local library's rhythm and rhyme session, Florence landed a shockingly accurate left hook directly onto my nose just as we were gearing up for the second verse of The Wheels on the Bus. The elderly librarian...