Magazine
Why Dumb Tech Is Actually Better for Your Baby's Sleep
It was 2:14 AM and my phone was glowing an angry, pulsating red. The oxygen alarm was going off. I basically vaulted over my sleeping wife, kicked a laundry basket into the hallway wall, and burst into the nursery expecting...
The Truth About Buying a Baby Monitor Camera (Before & After)
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing a nursing bra that smelled like sour milk and, I don't know, absolute despair. I was sitting on the edge of the bed staring into the void when the...
Surviving the Lava Monster Phase: A Dad's Take on Baby Moana
The haptic feedback on my Apple Watch woke me from a sleep-deprived trance at exactly 3:14 PM on a Saturday. It was a decibel warning. My living room had just surpassed 90 decibels, which my watch helpfully noted could cause...
Navigating infant developmental timelines without losing your mind
We were sitting around a cramped dining table in Rogers Park when the unsolicited advice started rolling in. My mother-in-law casually mentioned that my husband was walking independently at nine months, heavily implying my ten-month-old was somehow defective for still...
The midnight baby meme: surviving internet chaos and newborn life
Listen. The absolute worst thing you can do at 2:42 AM when your infant is staring at the ceiling like they owe it money is open a sleep training forum. I used to do this. I'd sit in the dark,...
What I Wish I Knew Before Feeding My Baby Real Food
Dear Marcus from six months ago: Right now, you're staring at a piece of steamed broccoli, sweating through your gray t-shirt, completely convinced that handing this tiny green tree to your six-month-old daughter is a catastrophic user error. You've spent...
Confessions of a Clueless Runner: The Truth About Baby Joggers
I'm three miles deep into a caliche dirt road in rural Texas, sweat pooling in places I didn't know could sweat, pushing a thirty-dollar plastic umbrella stroller that sounds like a shopping cart with a square wheel. My oldest son,...
Baby It's Cold Outside Lyrics Drama & Winter Layering
Dear Jess from last December. You're currently hiding in the laundry room, sitting on a pile of unfolded bath towels, frantically trying to look up the baby it's cold outside lyrics on your cracked phone so you can prove a...
How to Survive a Husky and a Human Baby Without Losing Your Mind
There's a very specific type of panic that sets in when a fifty-pound sled dog tries to initiate a play-bow with a sleeping infant. You just freeze, calculating the physics of a rapidly wagging tail colliding with a soft fontanelle,...