Magazine

A VTech baby monitor screen showing a sleeping baby in a dark room.

The Great VTech Baby Monitor Experiment (A Dad's Honest Take)

I spent the first three months of my twin daughters’ lives doing exactly what you shouldn’t do: I bought a terrifyingly cheap, unbranded camera off the internet that broadcasted grainy, unencrypted footage of my children directly to, presumably, a server...

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Tired mom holding a newborn baby in a dark nursery illuminated by a soft red nightlight.

What Baby Justin Bieber Taught Me About 3 AM Survival

It was 3:17 AM, and I was wearing my husband Dave’s oversized college hoodie that smelled faintly of sour milk and complete desperation. Leo, who was exactly four weeks and two days old at the time, was doing that arching-back,...

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A toddler in an organic cotton bodysuit looking at a baby chick in a plastic brooder tub.

Surviving Backyard Baby Chicks When You Already Have A Toddler

We were standing in the middle of a farm supply store somewhere in the Illinois suburbs when my husband decided we needed to teach our two-year-old about food sustainability. He was holding a cardboard box that vibrated with high-pitched chirps,...

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A tired mom holding a teething baby at a wedding while wearing a formal gown

Sachin and Babi: Why I Finally Stopped Buying Cheap Event Dresses

I was locked in a sweltering utility closet at my cousin's wedding in East Texas, wrestling a static-cling polyester wrap dress off my milk-leaking chest while my oldest, bless his heart, methodically smeared wedding cake icing onto my only good...

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Exhausted dad holding two toddlers while looking at a bank statement

Lil baby net worth: What a rapper taught me about raising twins

Dear Tom from exactly six months ago It's currently 2:14 in the morning, and if my memory of six months ago is correct, you're currently pinned beneath a sweating, thrashing two-year-old girl while her identical sister sleeps horizontally across the...

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A tired dad staring at a vintage 90s plush toy while twin babies play on a wooden gym

The Birthday Beanie Baby Trap: A Letter to My Tired Past Self

Dear Tom from exactly six months ago, You're currently hunched over your laptop in the glow of a half-eaten digestive biscuit, ignoring the faint sounds of Maya and Chloe practicing their synchronized 2 AM grunting from the other room. You...

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Confused dad holding a baby wearing a stiff vintage denim jacket

Debugging the Y2K Aesthetic When Your Infant Refuses to Flex

We were at our usual Saturday spotβ€”that overly loud Portland coffee roaster where the tables are made of reclaimed shipping palletsβ€”when my eleven-month-old daughter simply stopped working. Her entire motor function API just failed. She was sitting in her high...

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A tired dad holding a freshly washed baby bottle in a dim kitchen.

Debugging the 2 AM Bottle Wash (And Why We Switched Methods)

It was 2:14 AM. I was standing in the kitchen illuminated only by the harsh blue light of the microwave clock, aggressively scrubbing a plastic milk cylinder with the exact same green and yellow sponge I had just used to...

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Tired tech dad holding a tiny infant gold bracelet next to a silicone teether

Dear Past Marcus: Let's Talk About Baby Gold and Choking Hazards

Dear Marcus of six months ago, I know exactly where you're right now. You're sitting on the edge of the living room rug, staring at a tiny velvet box that Aunt Linda just handed you. Inside is a 14-karat baby...

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