Magazine

A tired dad holding his 11 month old baby while wearing a star wars shirt

Why A Tiny Green Alien Explains My Entire First Year Of Fatherhood

It's 3:14 AM, and my eleven-month-old is currently trying to shove a completely intact, unpeeled banana into his left ear while maintaining unblinking, terrifying eye contact with me. I'm wearing sweatpants I haven't washed since Tuesday and a Mandalorian t-shirt...

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A frustrated dad staring at a laptop screen filled with a spreadsheet of baby names

The Google Sheet That Nearly Broke Us: A Guide to Baby Girl Names

Row 47 of our shared Google Sheet was where my marriage nearly met its untimely end over the name 'Blythe'. My wife, heavily pregnant and radiating a sort of exhausted menace, argued that it sounded literary and sophisticated. I argued...

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A messy living room with scattered baby toys and a television glowing in the dark.

Why the Baby Driver Cast Fooled Me on Family Movie Night

My oldest boy, Jackson, is standing dead center in the living room wearing mismatched dinosaur pajamas, clutching a half-eaten string cheese like a microphone, and staring completely wide-eyed at our television screen. It's 9:45 PM on a Friday. He's supposed...

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Tired mother looking at a glowing television screen in the dark

That Midnight Streaming Trap Every Tired Parent Nearly Falls For

My phone lit up the nursery at 2:14 AM like a localized lightning strike. I was currently covered in what I hoped was just formula, trying to rock a teething toddler back to baseline. The text was from Sarah in...

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A tired dad holding a wooden baby toy and a coffee cup

A letter to past Tom regarding the babyrassel aus holz trend

Dear Tom from eighteen months ago. You're currently standing in the kitchen of the flat in Highbury at 3:14 in the morning, holding a bag of frozen peas against Florence’s surprisingly robust forehead while Matilda screams from the other room...

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A pile of cheap funny baby bodysuits next to a rash cream

Why the baby bodys lustig trend is a medical nightmare

It was 3:14 AM. The dim light of the nursery humidifier was casting a sickly green glow over the changing table. Maya had just delivered a blowout of epic proportions, a true code brown that defied the laws of physics,...

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First time dad holding 11-month-old baby girl in a functional organic cotton dress

The Great Tulle Disaster: A Dad's Guide to Baby Kleider MΓ€dchen

I was sitting in the back of a rented Subaru in a gravel parking lot in Bend, Oregon, frantically trying to debug a zipper that was hopelessly jammed in three layers of synthetic tulle. The temperature outside was pushing ninety...

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A heavily stained cloth baby bib next to a clean silicone pocket bib.

Dear Past Me: The Messy Truth About Waterproof and Plastic Bibs

Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently standing in the baby aisle of that ridiculously overpriced boutique downtown. It’s exactly 10:15 AM on a Tuesday, and you're wearing those black lululemon leggings that definitely have a crusty yogurt stain...

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A tired dad holding two babies in organic cotton onesies

The Brutal, Messy Truth About Surviving Baby Onesies

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, roughly six weeks into the twin experiment, and I was holding a small, violently crying creature at arm's length. The issue wasn't the crying (I'd grown accustomed to the acoustic assault), but rather...

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