The Babies R Us Registry Panic: A Letter to My Anxious Past Self
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the driverβs seat of your Subaru in the parking lot of a Kohlβs, wearing those black leggings that have the weird hole near the knee, and you're literally vibrating...
The Midnight Babi Meltdowns: Surviving Drool and Sleeplessness
Whatever you do, do NOT google "why are my kid's gums blue" at three in the morning. I was sitting on the edge of the glider in Maya's nurseryβthe gray one we bought off Craigslist that always squeaked if you...
The Michelin Man Myth: Dressing Your Baby for Winter Survival
It was November 2017, and I was standing in a Target parking lot sweating through my deodorant while the actual air temperature was roughly twenty-eight degrees. Maya was four months old at the time. I was wearing yoga pants that...
The Truth About Buying Utility Pants for Boys Without Losing Your Mind
There was a rhythm to my washing machine yesterday that sounded exactly like a handful of gravel tumbling around in a metal drum. Because it was a handful of gravel. I had forgotten to check the pockets of my middle...
Why Taking Kids to a Physical Clothing Store is a Total Trap
It's 3:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I'm wedged into a cubicle the size of a shoebox at our local mall, sweating through my favorite shirt and gripping an eight-dollar lukewarm vanilla latte like it might save my life. Maya,...
The hospital triage guide to surviving newborn baby kleding
It was 3:14 AM when I finally understood what true defeat tasted like. I was standing over a changing pad in the dark, wrestling with a pair of miniature denim overalls made for a creature that weighed eight pounds. The...
Why a kyte baby discount code almost broke my sanity at 3am
Itβs 3:14 AM, the absolute worst possible time for rational decision-making, and I'm illuminated entirely by the harsh, judgmental blue glow of my phone screen. Maya is currently passed out on my chest, drooling a thick puddle of what I...
JD Vance baby: The messy truth about waiting for the perfect time
Listen. It's 3 AM. The radiator in our Chicago apartment sounds like a dying car engine, and my toddler has decided sleep is an offensive concept. I'm sitting in the dark, watching my phone screen illuminate the spit-up stain on...
What to Pack in Hospital Bag for Baby: A Dad's Bug Report
I had one knee pressed firmly into the top of a 60-liter duffel bag in the back of our Subaru, trying to force the zipper shut while Portland rain soaked through my hoodie. My wife, currently 36 weeks pregnant, was...