Magazine
Why Infant Silicone Replaced Every Plastic Bowl In My House
I was sitting on my kitchen floor at two in the morning, staring at a warped plastic breast pump flange floating in a pot of boiling water. It had melted just enough to look like modern art. The smell of...
The Utter Chaos of Trying to Dress a Very Small and Angry Newborn
Before the twins arrived, I was cornered at a family gathering and given three entirely contradictory pieces of advice regarding infant wardrobes. My mother-in-law insisted on knitted cardigans with actual, functional miniature buttons (a stylistic choice I'm still unpacking with...
Surviving loud baby gifts for boys and what parents actually want
It was 2:14 in the morning on a Tuesday. I was standing in the dark hallway of our Chicago apartment, holding a baby who had finally stopped crying after forty-five minutes of unexplained misery. The silence was thick and fragile....
Why high-end infant clothes usually aren't worth the headache
My oldest son, Wyatt, is the reason I've trust issues with zippers, snap crotches, and the entire childrenβs clothing industry. When he was about three months old, I got it in my head that we needed professional family photos out...
The 3AM Zipper Panic and Finding the Perfect Baby Schlafanzug
It's 3:14 in the morning on a Tuesday in late November, and I'm sitting in total darkness on the floor of the nursery trying to match up what feels like forty-seven tiny metal poppers on a sleepsuit while Twin A...
A Letter to Past Me About Surviving The Boys Sweater Phase
Dear Marcus from six months ago: You're currently standing in the baby apparel aisle holding a tiny, adorable, heavily patterned wool pullover. Put it down. Seriously, drop it right now before your wife sees it and you both convince yourselves...
The Great Baby Blanket Confusion: What Are Receiving Blankets?
When I was pregnant with my oldest (bless his chaotic, fiercely independent heart), my mom told me I needed at least twenty flannel blankets because babies are fundamentally leaky creatures. Two days later, my mother-in-law handed me a stack of...
Why I Tossed That Amber Teething Necklace Straight in the Trash
I was sitting in the nursery rocking chair at three in the morning with a baby who had completely saturated his third onesie of the night with pure drool. My oldest sonβwho's basically the walking, talking cautionary tale for every...
The Messy Truth About Giving Your Twins a Toddler Blanket
My mother told me that if the girls weren't under a thick wool quilt by November, I was essentially committing child neglect. My aggressively modern NCT friend, on the other hand, strongly implied over flat whites that introducing any loose...