Magazine

A slightly battered 90s unicorn plush toy sitting on a nursery shelf

The May 21st Beanie Baby Illusion: Vintage Plushies vs Reality

I was three pints deep into a Tuesday evening and aggressively outbidding a woman named 'Susan_Collects_94' on eBay for a slightly moth-eaten unicorn. My wife walked into the kitchen, took one look at the glowing iPad screen, and asked if...

Read more

A vintage Ty Lizzy the Lizard beanie baby sitting next to a wooden nursery play gym

The chaotic truth about hunting down a May 11th beanie baby

Whatever you do, don't lie in the dark at two in the morning, covered in a thin but incredibly resilient layer of what I can only hope is regurgitated formula, fiercely battling a stranger on the internet for a stuffed...

Read more

Vintage 1990s stuffed bear sitting next to modern organic baby toys

A letter to past me about the march 27th beanie baby obsession

Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the edge of the guest bathroom tub at two in the morning. The baby is finally asleep after three false starts, and instead of closing your eyes, you're squinting at...

Read more

Mom holding a vintage green plush bear next to a baby nursery shelf

Why That Vintage March 17 Beanie Baby Belongs on a High Shelf

I was literally sitting on the living room floor, knee-deep in a mountain of unfolded toddler shirts and cardboard shipping boxes for my Etsy shop, when the front screen door slammed. My mom breezed into the house carrying a cloudy...

Read more

Vintage plush toys sitting on a high nursery shelf out of reach

Why that july 21st beanie baby is a nursery nightmare

Listen, it was two in the afternoon on a Tuesday when my mother-in-law proudly handed me a plastic grocery bag that smelled faintly of mothballs and damp basement. Inside was Bijoux the Poodle, a vintage plush toy with a faded...

Read more

Tired dad holding a toddler wearing a stretchy traditional gathered dress

The Truth About Surviving Weddings in Smocked Baby Girl Clothes

I'm standing in the disabled toilet of a remarkably pretentious Surrey golf club, holding a heavily soiled nappy in one hand and half a crumbling shortbread biscuit in the other. Somewhere beyond the mahogany door, a string quartet is aggressively...

Read more

Dad looking confused while holding a vintage 90s turtle plush toy next to a baby

Troubleshooting The September 19 Birthday Twin Plushie Trend

I'll tell you exactly what not to do when you finally receive that crinkly, retro-smelling package from a vintage seller on the internet: don't immediately hand the twenty-six-year-old plush toy to your teething eleven-month-old. I made this exact logic error...

Read more

A vintage plush dragon sitting on a nursery shelf next to wooden toys

Tracking Down a December 9th Beanie Baby is Total Madness

It started, as most of my parenting anxieties do, with a casual comment over a lukewarm flat white. When the twins were approaching their birthday, my mother-in-law declared I simply had to find a plush toy with their exact birth...

Read more

A mom looking stressed holding a vintage 90s plush toy in a messy baby nursery

To Past Jess: What to Know About That September 24th Birthday Plush

Dear Jess of six months ago: Right now, you're sitting cross-legged on the sticky floor of the Goodwill on Highway 84, aggressively Googling plush toy birthdates while your youngest tries to eat a rogue Cheeto off your shoe. You just...

Read more